Crazy

Sometimes Forbidden Fruit drives me crazy. Sometimes that’s a good thing, other times I think it’s a bad thing. For instance, one minute he will be super cuddly towards me, other times he seems like he doesn’t want to be near me, touching me.

He grabs at me all the time, I grab at him. I love to surprise him and pinch his nipples, just to hear him cry out. I love the sound he makes. Whenever he calls me on the phone, he does not seem to want to get off the phone, and acts upset and heartbroken when I need to go for one reason or another. Sometimes he will call me back later, other times he will fall asleep and forget to call me back. However, when I call him, he does not seem to be in the mood to talk to me.

One thing though, that sent me over the edge tonight, was when he bit my neck. I think I have mentioned several times before that I love to have my neck bit, and that it makes me crazy. Like, super horny, and my pussy dripping wet. I wanted to take his face in my hands and kiss him right there. Ahh, what also sent me almost over the edge tonight was when he looked me right in the eyes, took my face in his hands, leaned his face in with his lips puckered out, then kissed the tip of my nose. Not before getting dangerously close to my lips.

What is wrong with him? He knows that I want him, and he uses that to his every advantage. He makes it clear that I can’t have him, but then hints at the potential of wanting me (when he wants something).

So, what stops me from making an ass of myself, growing some balls, and just kissing the guy? Only the fact that it would be his first kiss. Oh, how I want to be his first, his first a lot of things. But the fact that he wants his first kiss to be special, and most preferably from a guy, I don’t have the heart to take that away from him, violating that space, crossing that line. Sometimes I really hate morals.

My first kiss was different for me. I had wanted my first kiss since the sixth grade, and finally got it in my sophomore year. Ha, I can even tell you the date and time of it. It was October 9, 2003 at about 2:53 P.M. Central time. Yeah, I have like, a really good memory when it comes to my firsts. I have a list somewhere in my pile of poems, memories, and pictures. Maybe someday I will put it up here. However, my first kiss is not the point of this entry.

The point of this entry is the fact that Forbidden Fruit drives me crazy. From the moment I met him, I always had a feeling about him. I had, and still kind of do, but not as strong, this feeling like something would happen between us. Whether it was a friend with benefits, a boyfriend, or something else.

It’s times like these that I wish I had a penis. Maybe then would he possibly do something more than just tease me. Any advice on how to win him over? Or do you think he is a lost cause? My crush on him isn’t as strong as last semester, but that is because it has been so long since I have seen him. I didn’t see him all winter break, but now that I am hanging out with him almost every day again, my feelings for him are coming back.

On a happier note (though I hope putting this up doesn’t jinx things), Forbidden Fruit and I are planning a little sleep over at my house during spring break (which unfortunately isn’t until mid March). I already got the OK from my mom, and we plan to hang out at our friend’s family’s restaurant, then have my mom pick us up after she gets off work, then got get pizza, maybe rent a movie. When we get hungry, we will cook the pizza, and plan to play WoW as long as our eyes can stay open. It should be super fun. Maybe I can seduce him… Anyone have any ideas on how?

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