Fucked

…And not in the good way. Thursday started out well enough. I woke up after having good dreams, with a smile on my face. I was looking forward to what the day had to offer me. I thought it was going to be a good day.

I got to school, and I saw Brent. I hadn’t seen him since Monday when he hugged me, so I was happy to see him smiling and waving at me. He came over to chat for a few minutes. Apparently he had been gone those past few days because he was sick. As usual, he was in a hurry, but just wanted to say hi.

As he started to leave, he put a hand on my shoulder, and I got the feeling that if I was standing, he would have hugged me. Because of this, I started to stand up, but tripped instead. This drew attention to me, and in a joking tone he said “Oh God, she’s getting up. She’s gonna follow me.”

Unfortunately, this sent a wave of embarrassment through me, and I sat right back down, with no hug and a beet red face. I know he was joking, but it was still embarrassing. I would have preferred an awkward hug, definitely, over this.

I went to class, and dozed off periodically. At least until Jenny texted me asking if I wanted to go do girl stuff. I said I was all for it, and definitely looking for an excuse to skip my next class. She said she would meet me at the mall when I was ready, and we would go to lunch and then shop.

Unfortunately, I ended up having to go to class because I had to take the bus with one of my other friends. On my way to class, I texted Toby, since I hadn’t heard from him since we made the plans to hang out. I asked him what the plan was, and if he had a time. He texted me right back saying that he had to reschedule because other stuff came up. I didn’t bother replying.

I was a little bummed, but mostly pissed. I was less bummed than I could have been if I hadn’t expected him to cancel. I guess I was lucky I expected disappointment? However, I was mostly pissed because I took so long to shave my legs so thoroughly. I hate shaving my legs anyways, so it said a lot when I took an hour to do it. That was strike two for my bad day.

Lunch with Jenny was fun, and the shopping was fun. I think that was the only good part to my day. However, this got kind of stepped on when Maya, my best friend since high school called me in tears because she was upset that I was with Jenny and not her. The way she said stuff made me feel like crap. I hated hearing her so upset, but there was nothing I could do.  She was also upset because I wouldn’t tell her who I was supposed to go out with. I don’t think she believed me when I said that no one knew.

Luckily Maya and I kind of fixed things later that night. We plan to hang out Monday, when she is not working. I look forward to it.

So yeah, my day was fucked. I felt like I made an ass of myself in front of Brent (though I know my mind totally over reacted), my date was cancelled and I haven’t heard him from since, and my best friend thinks I am keeping stuff from her.

Give me some love.