As said before, my day was spent with butterflies in my stomach. I don’t think I have ever smiled so much at work. I really loved that feeling of butterflies every time I closed my eyes and pictured that first kiss.
Well, I got home finally after I put in my eight hours. I had intentions of finishing all my posts that I had started during my breaks and getting stuff scheduled to post. That all changed when I got a text from my best friend, who’s boyfriend works in the same department as Toby.
Apparently the night after we had fooled around, Toby brought his new girlfriend to show off. What the fuck? At first I was in shock, then I was just irritated. After it started to sink in I just started to feel extremely bummed. Finally, I just felt numb.
I wanted to just curl up and hide. Hide from my mind, my thoughts, my feelings, and the real world in general. I said ‘fuck it,’ and took a shower and went to bed at five in the evening and woke up at five this morning.
I saw him at work before he left, but he didn’t say a word, but I know he saw me. I had a dream last night that my idea of revenge was just blabbing everything to everyone at work, from how he started to pick up on me, to him finally making a move on me. However, that is not a good idea. It would not only affect him, it would affect me as well, since I was the other one involved.
Seriously though, if it is true that he had a girlfriend, it explains a lot. It explains why he cancelled on me that first time, the lateness, the hesitancy he got when he realized how nervous I was, and why he seemed like he was in such a hurry to get me home. It also explains why he just didn’t seem into it as I blew him.
I think its funny how fast those butterflies disappeared. I kind of miss them. Too bad I didn’t get the balls to proceed with Brent, like ask for his number or something. Damn, and now I won’t see him for a week at least because it is spring break, which I will be spending it house sitting, away from civilization.
Whatever. Like the title says, it’s only a rumor. Maybe I am dead wrong, though I am not counting on it. I will text him tonight, ask him how he is doing, see if he responds, how he responds.