An End to Something Bad, the Start of Something Good

This last Monday I put a stop to the Toby situation. I hope. He picked me up in the morning after he got off work and we went to his house. Things seemed to be better and hotter before.

He kissed me harder and more passionately than he ever has, than anyone has. When he bent me over to feel my ass, he surprised me by taking off his belt and gently smacking my ass with it. He turned me back around and kissed me some more. When he lifted off my shirt, I began to unbutton his, so he helped me take it off.

He then asked me to do the usual (a blowjob). I did, but this time he never came. I must have sucked him for a half hour at least, and I could tell he wasn’t getting off from it, especially when I looked up and he had this bored look on his face.
I stood up and asked if he was getting close at all. He said no. I asked what he wanted to do, and he made up some excuse about having to go to his cousin’s birthday party that afternoon. He always has some excuse to hurry and get me home.

Once in the car, after we got back on the road, I told him that I didn’t think I could do this much longer, that I was getting attached. He said that if I wanted to pull the plug on it, it was fine. I explained that I was starting to wish for more than just “experimenting,” and was not sure he wanted more than that. He never disagreed and said it was fine to pull the plug.

I told myself I was not going to get attached to him. However though, as soon as I said it, I realized it was true. I hated to end it, because I knew that he would probably not go through with being strictly friends. It hurt. I spent the rest of the day, moping around, wondering if I really did the right thing. I had to keep reminding myself that he was using me.

I still kind of worry about him, though that was just the attachment. I feel better about it though. I called Brent the day after, and immediately he asked me to hang out with him the next day. That it what I will be doing after I write this. I am kinda nervous, but t least I know he would never use me like Toby did.

Give me some love.