Insulted

I am really excited about coming back to blogging, or at least trying to keep things regular on here. I think I completely lost my readers, which is understandable for being gone so long. I now must start over. I can’t guarantee that what I have to say will be very interesting, nor will it have much naughty stuff, but I need this outlet back.

You see, the other night I was browsing through Will’s old role playing chat logs and I came across something very upsetting to me, something that I am still debating on whether or not I should mention to him. I think for now I am gonna be quiet about what I saw, because first off I did not have permission to be there, so it was my fault for being nosy.

So, what did I find? Almost every single RP session had at least one cyber-like scene that he did. This pisses me off for several reasons. Number one, he said he had stopped doing that. Number two, I felt insulted, because I had asked to do that with him before and after we did that once, and he was never interested. Turns out those nights he was in such a hurry to get home, he ended up cybering. I almost feel like he cheated on me. There was one particular chat/cyber session that he had that that night he said he would do it with me. He kept putting it off so much that night, waiting for me to go to bed, and as soon as I logged off, he started cybering with some random person. That hurts so much.

Now, he has not been on said RP place since July, a month before we moved in together, but he said long before that that he was not into what these people wanted, the cybering. He told me they always started to try and he would tell them no. Lies. He let them continue, and even joined in himself.

I feel so insulted. I mean, I looked up to this guy so much, pretty much put him on a pedestal, admiring his self control (as frustrated as I may get sometimes), and yet here he was going behind my back the whole time. I will admit he does not go to the RP place anymore, but still, he lied when he was doing it. That hurts.

This is what made me decide to come back into the blogging world, at least for now. I missed it like crazy for one thing. I also feel like I missed and wasted a bunch of time by not doing it. I quit doing all things naughty, thinking of all things naughty, completely dropped this blog when we got together because it did not feel right. He said before that he would tell those people no cybering when we got together, that it did not feel right. Lies. So, because he seemed to have kept his outlet, I am going to bring mine back. I need it.

I also need advice. What do you think I should do? Keep quiet, or bring up the cybering? I feel like he kind of owes me at least an explanation, because I feel like I have changed for nothing, which will be another topic (probably next post) for another day.

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