Giving Without Receiving

I used to take pride in giving good head. I felt like that was the one thing I excelled at when being with a guy. I loved the control I had, the trust he had to have in me to let me use my mouth (where theres teeth) on his dick. Everyone that I have ever sucked has always said it was the best they ever had. Maybe all guys say that to every girl, but I was happy to believe them, and still do.

However, after Toby, I kind of quit caring about giving head. It was ruined for me in a lot of ways. I realized this when I was with The T several years back. I know exactly why I don’t care about giving head so much anymore.

You see, The only one to truly ever return the favor was Ex #4. He would eat me out for forever it seemed, though sadly it was more relaxing than climaxing. Yeah, Nathan, Tiffany, Leah, and The T have went down on me, but it was always for less than a minute or two because they found other things to do to me.

The times I was with Toby I would ask him to return the favor, he would always make up some excuse on why he couldn’t. I finally gave up asking when his last excuse was that “he heard he wasn’t supposed to go down on a girl unless he was in love with her.” I know that excuse was total bullshit. That is when I quit caring about giving head.

When I played with The T, he wanted me to suck him. I was adamant that it was not going to happen, but I finally compromised for just a little bit of suckage. I hated it, and that was the first time I didn’t take my time or care in what I was doing. I felt like it was substandard, though he disagreed.

I started enjoying giving head again when I sucked D in the woods. It was new, and exciting. I took great care in what I was doing.

I took even greater pride in what I was doing when I gave Will head. It was his favorite of the few things he allowed us to do together. I made sure to give good head because I wanted him to come back for more (since our sexual time was so few and far between), though I didn’t enjoy giving as much as I used to. Several times, after he came, he would mention how sometime he would like to return the favor.

One night I really wanted him to return the favor, so I asked him to do just that. I had actually really enjoyed giving him head. I had taken my time, and used my skill to the fullest. After he came, I asked if he would go down on me. He said no. I asked him why, since he said he wanted to return the favor. That is when he told me that the idea of going down on a girl was never much of a turn on. I asked how he expected to return the favor. He said that it would happen by having sex. He then left for food, and I sat in bed and cried. The last excuse Toby gave me came back to mind. I cried even harder. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

He came home, saw me crying and comforted me. I explained what was wrong when he asked. That is when he learned my true sexual past. He had always had bits and pieces before, but this time I finished the puzzle. I felt better, though was still a bit pissed. I eventually got over the fantasy of him going down on me.

Lately I have been craving tongue on my clit. It just sounds like it would feel really good. There have been several times that I thought D was going to do it, just from his postion at times, or how he kisses my stomach, all the way down to my mound. He never has done it for me, and I have been afraid to ask because I don’t want to ruin my liking of giving him head if he says no.

I really like giving D head, and I always have. He makes me want to give more head. I read the posts I write about sucking him, and they get me very wet and sexually excited. He brings back the old me.

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