Insecure

So, there is this amazingly gorgeous, hot, and single guy at work. We kinda talk, joke around. Recently he discovered how jumpy I am, so he always takes up on the opportunity to scare me. I really want to ask him to hang out. Maybe play some video games, watch a movie, or something else that’s casual (hehe, but you know I just want in his pants).

I want to ask him to hang out so bad that I even have my name and number written down, ready to give him if he says yes. The thing is, I just feel so insecure around him. He’s that good looking in my opinion.

He’s very much fit, while I am not. He’s got perfect teeth, mine are crooked with lots of overbite and underbite. I just feel like he’s way out of my league. People tend to date people with similar looks. I look the total opposite from him.

I have had lots of chances to ask him, times when we are alone (at least as alone as we can be at work), but I chicken out everytime. I am just so scared of him making it awkward if he says no. I know if he did say no, I would just say “Ok,” and move on. It will only be awkward if we make it awkward. If he makes it awkward, then I am SOL and I will lose someone to chat with at work.

Other times I hesitate because he says things that make me really wonder if I want to hang out with this guy. Hes always complaining about work, how bored he is, hes always broke, he hates paying rent and spending money, etc. He says he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he doesn’t want to have to spend money on her. Honestly, he sounds like a huge jackass. Yet I am still very much attracted, and so very much insecure about it.

I think I am gonna try making a new Craigslist ad, only this time be a little bit more honest about my weight, and tell them not to bother if they can’t handle a BBW.

Give me some love.