Attention Whore

I have recently discovered that I am kind of an attention whore. I love attention. Recently the security guys at work discovered how jumpy I was, so now they take every opportunity to scare me. I enjoyed the attention a lot, and felt a little disappointed when they got bored and stopped scaring me because I was “too easy” to scare.

When I got my hair shaved off a few weeks ago, I got a lot of nicknames at work. Some were pretty fucked up, others amusing. That was more attention and I loved it. Yeah, I know that the fucked up nicknames were bad attention, but I didn’t let them get to me.

Last week, one of the security guys snuck up on me. My hand flew backwards and upwards, my finger landing in his nose. It was gross, the fact that I technically had just picked someones nose, but it was hilarious. I laughed and giggled for a good twenty minutes straight. My new nickname there because of that incident is “digger” and “gold digger.”

I feel kind of awkward admitting that I like attention like that. Like I am an attention whore. I can’t get enough of it. I have never really had a nickname growing up, so that is a plus. I guess I just feel like I shouldn’t like this kind of attention because it is rather negative at some points and I am sure that they are saying much worse things behind my back. My coworkers are just assholes like that.

Last night was a good example, and kind of the reason I am writing this post. I was on my lunch break in the break room when one of the security guys came up behind me and flicked my left shoulder blade as hard as he could. That attention I definitely did NOT enjoy. I said “Ow!” and he responded with “Oh, that didn’t hurt. Don’t say that so loud, I’ll have to fill out an incident report and you’ll have to take a piss test,” and walked out. He ended up leaving a bruise.

As I said, I did not enjoy that type of attention. I hate being hit and when I say “Ow!” the person doing the hitting says “Oh, that didn’t hurt.” That happened all the time to me in school groing up. Now it seems to happen at work. I had a coworker that did the same thing (punch me in the arm, slam my finger in the door) and say it didn’t hurt when sometimes I ended up in tears (the door).

A part of me really wants to take this matter to HR, but I don’t see it happening. I feel like it would be really hypocritical, being as how I don’t mind other smaller forms of harrassment. Or I prefer certain people to do things over others. I just don’t know…

Mr. AbsinthePassion 2012-06-03 23:34:24
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One of the things I've been learning as I read and try to understand my Kinkster / Fetish sides more is that it's okay to like one thing but not like something similar. It's okay to like to be flogged but not whipped. It's okay to like being in rope bondage but not like to be suspended. It's okay to like to play with one person but not another. The responsibility lies with you to make those likes and dislikes known clearly. As hard as it will be to do, the best thing -- both for the work environment and for your own growth -- is to have a "I have your balls in my hand" conversation with the guards or coworkers who cross your lines of what is acceptable. Let them know what you'll tolerate, such as being spooked, and what won't fly. Tell them you don't want to have to file a report, but if they won't respect you enough to meet your terms then you can't play their games anymore. Security guards, law enforcement, military, and the like all tend to have Dominant personalities. Cater to that. Let them know they can still play as long as they follow the rules. They get their kicks and you stay safe. Everybody wins. Most of all, good luck.