TMI Tuesday – Yes, I’m Listening

Hi peeps! It’s been a long day, I’m exhausted. No energy to be creative for TMI Tuesday so I ripped these questions (and modified) from a dating website.

Yes, I’m listening…

garfields listening_tmi
1. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?

Honestly, this blogging community. My parents influenced me, but not in the best ways. My mom made me paranoid as fuck and dad, just…that’s a story for another day.

The people I have met through blogging have been amazing. They make me comfortable to be myself, and make me feel beautiful as I am.

2. What kinds of things really make you laugh?

Dirty jokes make me giggle. I love hearing funny jokes/stories.

3. What’s your favorite place in the entire world?

Texas, where my brother is.

4. Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?

My roommate I would have to say. I can be myself with her, and be completely open and honest without being judged.

5. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?

Lose weight, get a career, not just a job.

6. What was your family like growing up?

They sheltered me way too much and made me feel like shit about my weight, but never did anything to help.

Bonus: What is one thing about you that would surprise us?

I can be very filtered when I want to be.

TMI Tuesday blog

Another Dinner with Ginger

I had a nice time hanging out with Ginger Friday night. I made baked ziti, and it was delicious. At first he was late though, and I hadn’t heard from him. I tried texting him, but got no response. Dinner was done and I was hungry. I was about to eat without him and was killing time talking to fellow bloggers on Skype. I was starting to blame the fact that I had shaved my legs, since every time I tend to do so my plans tend to go to hell.

Finally he showed up and we immediately dished up. Once again, we just ate and talked. I learned a little bit more about him. We both opened up to each other a little bit more. At times I had trouble keeping my thoughts clean, as there were points where I started undressing him with my eyes, imagining myself just straddling him on the couch. Luckily I kept these thoughts to myself.

There were times that I wanted to move closer. We were sitting on two separate couches (in an L shape). I went from wanting to just sit on the same couch as him, to wanting to sit next to him in his arms. When we were in the kitchen (dishing up, putting stuff away, etc) I felt his nearness and I just wanted to take him in my arms. I was too much of a pussy to do anything.

However, halfway through the evening, he moved from one end of his couch to the other, putting himself closer to me instead. I at first thought it was because I was shoing him some pictures, but when he got up to do something and came back, he sat in the same close spot.

I had been terrified at the idea of pursuing a relationship with him, just because I don’t feel ready, nor do I think I could stand some of the church aspects in his life. However now, I think I could do it. I know that he would be the sweetest, most loyal, and faithful man I have ever been with,

He said some things that made my pussy drip. He had no idea that what he was saying was incredibly hot to me, but damn, Just damn, I don’t think I have ever wanted anyone that bad in my life.

We talked for 6 hours straight, from 5:30 to 11:30 when he finally was ready for me to take him home. On the way there he said he was going to plan a dinner at his house and invite me next time. I am looking forward to it. Damnit though, I still haven’t gotten a hug. To be in those arms….

Sinful Sunday – Uncut

I really hate this picture. I took it last week during my little mini photo shoot. I was going to crop the hell out of it, but I decided to leave it uncut, to show some of the real me.

In my naughty pictures, I always try and hide my largeness. This one shows it a great deal. The outfit does a terrible job of supporting my breasts, leaving them to look saggy and floppy.

As far as the second picture goes, I dislike it a little bit less, but I would like it a lot more if I still had my piercings.

However, we are our own worst critics.

wpid-20150322_012725.jpg

wpid-20150322_012539.jpg

Sinful Sunday

Getting My Drive Back

A few weeks ago I had a cold that knocked me down hard. In that time the impossible happened. I lost my fucking sex drive. Sex was the furthest thing on my mind. I didn’t even have the energy, oxygen, or will to even masturbate. 

After what seemed like forever, I came back from the dead. Of course, this all happened at work. There I was, minding my own business, glowing on the inside thinking about the text conversation I had just had with Ginger planning our hang out Friday, when my clit started throbbing. I started thinking all kinds of naughty thoughts about my crush. My panties got soaked.

Well, we had dinner (Monday’s post coming up) and after dropping him off I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted him, needed to feel a dick inside me and hoping it to be his. I don’t think I have ever wanted someone so bad in my life. 

So yeah, it’s official that my sex drive is back. Who knows though when the next time will be that I get any. 

Something Great

Growing up, I never imagined myself as a writer, however I loved reading and excelled at spelling. In classes I loved the poetry section when it came to writing. I had a huge binder full of poems that I wrote, ranging from school, to boys, to home, etc. I would love to find it again, but I have no idea where it is. That makes me sad.

I had a diary in junior high, and a notebook in high school. I wrote in them all the time, ranging from rants to happy thoughts, to just plain ramblings of the thought processes in my head. I can’t find that either. I had some erotica (horrible stuff) that I wrote my senior year when I had no idea what I was doing. I would love to share it on here if I ever find it again. Once I started this blog, however, I stopped writing in anything else.

Lately I have had the urge, even a need sometimes, to write something great. Something amazing that sweeps many by storm. Even something that becomes easily famous, like Twilight or Fifty Shades. Obviously what I write is way better than those, but there are things I lack in my writing.

I lack character development. I can describe up to a certain point, then it becomes rambly, rather than flowing. I have no idea where to start on something like that. Ever since high school I have had recurring dreams of writing a steamy romance novel, but none of the ideas seem to stick. They just don’t seem great enough. I feel like I can’t think of something that someone hasn’t already written.

I have considered an autobiography, or some sort of advice book, especially people who want to explore or were just extremely sheltered, but I feel like I have nothing life changing.

I have been considering taking a creative writing class, to help open up my mind a bit more, but I don’t know. I could easily just google prompts. I am terrible at critiquing or having my work criticized.

Shit Eating Grin

I haven’t seen Ginger since January. I asked him to join me a few weeks ago to a work party but he was out of town. I texted him on Monday to ask how he was and it had been long time no talk. His response? “I am really good. I miss you.” I had a grin the rest of the day.

Coworkers in the break room commented on my smile. Another one, a friend this time, said “Well that’s a shit eating grin if I ever saw one. Tell me what’s up.” I told her, and she was happy.

Never have I reached for my phone that quick. We made plans for him to come over this Friday. I am making him baked ziti and told my roommate to find somewhere else to be that evening. I don’t really expect anything to happen, with his inexperience and family upbringing. I am just looking forward to his company. Maybe we might get as far as a hug this time though? Hopefully, we shall see.

So yeah, nothing puts a smile shit eating grin on my face greater than when my crush texts me, especially when he says he misses me.

 

TMI Tuesday – WTH is She Thinking?

It is Monday. In my head is a scary place to be. Here’s what is flowing out of my brain for this TMI Tuesday

WTH is she thinking?!

creative brain_tmi

1. You have been asked to organize a sex & kink weekend. Will you be more of a “hands-on” person or more of an “ideas” person?

I would say hands on, most definitely.

2. Assuming you are the hands-on type at this weekend sex romp, and you’ve entered a tent to ‘play’ with a male/female couple. Would you like to be given clear instructions before you begin to ‘play’ or do you prefer to be given the general idea of the task and work it out your own way.

I would like to have the general idea of the task and work things out myself. 😉

3. True or False. “During sex, I like to hear and accept feedback.”

True.

4. What are you wearing right now?

Sweat pants and a t-shirt, if we are being honest. No bra/panties though. 😀

5. I show loyalty to my lover by ___doing nice things for them, cooking for them, etc._____ .

6. Do you always have to argue?

No, I hate arguing or any form of confrontation.

Bonus: Pick up the closest book to you, open it to page 55. The first line on that page reads: ____”List the things that drive you nuts about being in a relationship”____ .

TMI Tuesday blog

Thanks

There has been a new guy in the office I have been helping out in. I added him to Facebook a while ago, but the other night I decided to finally message him, since we never get to talk at work. The conversation went ok, though he didn’t seem too interested.

I waited a few more days and sent him another message, this time in one of my “Fuck it all” moods. I asked if he liked coffee, and he responded with a yes with a huge grin. I took that as encouragement, so I asked him to coffee sometime after work.

He made me sit and wait for a response, then all I got was “Thanks.” What the fuck does that mean? I waited a bit more, contemplating what he meant, wondering if it was a “thanks, but no thanks,” when he responded again. He asked me why!

I was a little shocked, with a small hint of amusement mixed with frustration. I said to that we could get to know each other, as I thought he seemed really nice. He said I seemed really nice too, and thanked me again.

It was a little while later, then he sent me an emote of a coffee cup with a huge grin on its face. I took that as a shy and hesitant bit of encouragement, so I pressed further, saying that I took that as a yes.

An hour later he responded with “Thanks, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” I messaged back, saying “Ok, no problem.” Haven’t heard from him since. I get to see him tomorrow though, joy!

So I wonder, does he think its a bad idea because he is already taken, because we work together (sort of), or what? I have no fucking clue. I don’t really care to be honest, I kind of expect rejection, so it doesn’t hurt at all. In fact, it makes me even more determined to meet someone new. I will say, I have a new hate for “thanks.”

Looking Back

One thing I have enjoyed about having my own domain are the WordPress plugins. I have not yet been able to find all that I am looking for, but one of my favorites is the one that picks a random post (with customizable settings) and links it one Twitter every four hours (at my chosen time).

I have really enjoyed looking back, remembering old experiences, past crushes and loves, and sometimes even funny stories. I liked seeing how my writing style has evolved over the 6 plus years off and on this blog has been up.

I am planning on elaborating on how my writing has changed, but for now I wanted to give a quick update before I pass out and encourage you to check out my Twitter for some random reads. My Twitter link is in the sidebar.