Cute

I fucking hate the word cute when it comes to describing females. Probably mostly because when someone is using that word to describe, it does not include me. I have never been called cute. 

Cute can be many different things for many different people. Unfortunately, it most of the time describes “small, thin/skinny, petite, etc.” anything but me. All I read in the personal sections is “looking for a cute…” You get the picture. 

It struck a nerve when D called his latest random cute. I actually kind of bit into that and made him define his definition of cute. Of course he described it in a way that is the polar opposite of me. 

The other night I was talking to my new online friend on Skype voice chat. After we hung up for the night he said I sounded “really cute and fun.” It made me really sad, because I am not those things, at least in my mind. No one has ever used that to describe me. Now, I have told him that I am on the bigger side, but I don’t think he quite gets it. 

The pictures he’s seen of me are not full body. They are either just face or boobs. I can’t bring myself to share with him full body pics, because honestly, I feel like I look disgusting in them. The only full body pictures I have are the annoying ones that I get tagged in when taken at family gatherings. I honestly hate having my picture taken, and the only time I don’t mind it is if I am taking a dirty picture or am extremely happy and take a face picture. Never full body, because that shit just ain’t cute.