Trying to Get Caught

I thought he would be on his way shortly. It was Saturday and my roommate was gone for the weekend. I unlocked the front door for him and texted him to let himself in. I got back in bed and grabbed my favorite toy. I hoped and fantasized about him walking in on me masturbating. I wondered how he would react, and what he would do or say.

Would he be into it? Or would it be a complete turn off to him? Would he even care? At this point it had been almost two months since we did anything naughty. I ashamedly admit that I was getting desperate.

I didn’t even need porn, I was so turned on at just the fantasy of him catching me, hopefully joining me. I had to edge for a bit, as it didn’t take me long to feel like I was going to climax. I hoped he would hurry.

I started thinking about whether or not I wanted to time my orgasm for when he walked in, or save it for when he was in the same room as me and realized what I was doing.

My thoughts got a bit darker then. What if the person to walk in was not him? Who would it be, and depending on who it was would I keep going?

Eventually I started to feel too good not to come. Since I was alone, I let my moans escape my throat. What if I moaned so loud someone heard and came to check on me? At the thought of anyone walking in at that point made me come even harder.

After my orgasm he texted that he was on his way. I thought about my poor timing and wondered if I should go for round two of trying to be caught. Unfortunately, at that point I lost my nerve and quickly got dressed and did one last clean up run through of my apartment.

Maybe I can gather the courage to try again next time. Next time I will wait for his text that he is on his way before I start to play.

Only Time Will Tell

As I said in several previous posts, the future of my current relationship is a complete waiting game. These least few weeks have been rough as school has kept him too busy for my liking. When we first met, one of the first things I asked him was if he planned to stay or leave after he graduated. He made it seem like he wanted to stay.

However, fairly early on in our relationship he made several comments about moving away. As we got closer to the end of school it has been something hanging over my head. We have started to talk about it several times, but both of us got too sad to really continue the conversation. I started to just assume he would leave right after.

The other night I started to get a different impression. He said he was going to do everything he could to stay, and would do so as long as possible. When discussing the dates he would be gone he mentioned cutting that time in half to stay in town with me.

I really hope he does stick around. I have been trying to stay positive whenever I started to dwell on the what ifs. Things are still in a huge waiting game, but at the moment they are starting to look more in my favor. Only time will Tell.

Masturbation Woes

My masturbation count has sky rocketed. A combination of a returned sex drive after a long bout of depression finally lifted and having new toys to play with thanks to product reviews, I have had a lot to come to. With May being Masturbation Month, I have been particularly inspired to try for an orgasm (or more) a day. The more I masturbate, the more I find my mood lifting, making me want to masturbate more, craving orgasms.

Each toy gives me a different type of orgasm. Yes, they are all clitoral, but they have different depths to them. Mimi gives me long orgasms that sometimes leave a little bit to be desired (perhaps a cock inside)? The Womanizer gives me hard and deep orgasms, getting stronger the longer I let them go on. The Touch takes a little longer, but the strong and steady orgasm makes it worth the wait. Every day I think about the orgasm I plan to have. I wonder what kind of orgasm  would feel best for that moment.

So far the post doesn’t sound very woeful, I know. Don’t worry, I am getting there. The stories I have  are quite funny now, but they weren’t in the moment. In the moment they were quite depressing; woeful in many ways.

The other night I was craving Mimi. She was feeling pretty good, and I thought she had a decent charge since her vibrations were still pretty strong. I finally found a porn that was getting me pretty excited, build up for a big orgasm. I crossed the point of no return and let myself come. Right when I let go and the orgasm took over Mimi stopped cold. My orgasm sputtered out like a dying engine in a car. I laid there in silence for a second, taking in what just happened. Mimi died from a low battery, as toys usually do.

This wasn’t my first dead battery, but it was my first dead battery mid orgasm. It felt pretty awful in all honesty, both physically and mentally. Mentally I was revved up and ready to go, physically because it actually hurt. All that build up in my cunt and no release. It was peeing only a little bit and having to hold the rest.

After I gathered myself I reached for the Womanizer. I was gonna have this orgasm, I had to. I got to work and it was feeling good, even on my still sensitive clit. I felt myself about to squirt so I turned it off to make myself hold back. I wasn’t in the mood to sleep in a wet spot. Once my body was calmed down I turned the Womanizer back on. I was feeling good, feeling really close.

At that moment My cat jumped on my bed and required my immediate attention. I turned off my toy so that I could give him the attention he deserves. He curled up in my arms and fell asleep. I waited for him to wake up and move down to my feet.

I apparently fell asleep too, because I woke up when it was daylight, glasses still on, tablet (for porn) asleep at my side, Womanizer on the sheets between my legs and the cat at my feet. I had a sense of de ja vu and then realized that is exactly how I woke up the week before. So two weeks in a row I fell asleep masturbating. At least I managed to turn the toy off both times, unlike my college days where I burned out many cheap bullets that way.

TMI Tuesday – Life, Dating, Body, and More

 Hey. Glad you are checking us out. Have some fun and play TMI Tuesday!

Life: dating, your body and more

1. What period of your life was the happiest? Why?

I think my happiest period of my life (so far) was when I moved out of my mom’s and got a place with Will. I loved having him to come home to and talk to at the end of the day. I loved it even more when we got our own place without other roommates. That was a time when I felt certain about where I was going in life. Marriage and kids were next. We never got to that point, and my current relationship is a waiting game that only time will tell.

2. True or False. If you want a successful date, take charge–take the lead. Why?

I started to say false, but now I am thinking true. However, it really depends on the date. With my guy, I had to plan our first date, but once we got to talking, our conversation flowed equally.

3. True or false: Males are aggressive and assertive, and women are nurturing. Explain your answer.

False. I tend to find and meet men that are very gentle and indecisive. I am very nurturing however, though I know quite a few ladies who are not.

4. Is your body keeping you from a good sex life? How so?

I think so, but that is because I have poor self esteem. However, I don’t have the typically sought after body type. Most men that I have met are not into BBWs. I am not that flexible, and being bigger has required finding more creative positions in the bedroom. Lately I have had partners too lazy to try. They haven’t lasted long. Right now I am in my longest relationship since Will, but I can count the amount of times we have fooled around on one hand.

5. Smiles. Do you have a sexy smile that is different from your regular smile. Post a pic of your sexy smile or describe it for us?

I feel like I do have a nice smile when I have something to smile about. I especially love my smile after a few drinks, and that is when I tend to take the most “selfies.”

Bonus: May is Masturbation Month. Which of these is your best benefit from masturbating:
a. helps you to relax and/or fall asleep
b. boosts self-esteem
c. combats erectile dysfunction
d. helps you know what feels good so you can tell your sex partner

A combination of A, B, and D. C does not apply as I do not have a penis.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

 

TMI Tuesday blog

Product Review – We-Vibe Touch

I long lusted after the We-Vibe Touch. It looked so pretty, I heard fantastic things about it, and the little spoon like shape on the end called to me. I was fortunate enough to receive it free in exchange for my honest review from Betty’s Toy Box.

Upon opening, I was enamored at the soft and velvety silicone of the Touch. I took it out of the box and noticed how squishy it was. I couldn’t wait to use it. I immediately got it on the charger to make sure it would be ready for use. The We-Vibe Touch comes with a satin storage bag, magnetic charging port, and a USB cord.I found that it takes about an hour and a half to fully charge and it has about 2 hours of life, depending on how high the speed is turned up.

To be completely honest, I was a little underwhelmed when I first started using the Touch. It felt really nice, but it just couldn’t get me there. I kept wishing it went up one more speed. The next day I woke up and wanted to try again. I liked it a little more, but I needed something a fraction stronger to get me over the edge. I was determined to make things happen with this toy. With some relaxation and concentration, I was able to have a very nice orgasm from this toy after my third try. Third time is the charm, right?.After that, it has become fairly easy to have an orgasm form this toy.

The Touch has 8 functions total. There are 4 steady vibration speeds and 4 patterns. Unfortunately there is only one button used for power on/off and changing speeds/patterns. If you pass your favorite you have to cycle through everything to get back to it. However, if you are like me and only use one speed or function, you will be happy to know that the Touch turns on at the same setting it was turned off at.

Compared to the We-Vibe Tango, the Touch wins when it comes to battery life. However, the Tango does have that one extra speed that can get me there just a tad bit faster. They take about the same amount of time to charge, but the magnetic connection is a bit more stable than the Tango.

Overall, I love the We-Vibe Touch. I do wish it was a fraction stronger, but that doesn’t stop it from getting the job done. It is quiet and rumbly, a must have for my vibrators. It is made from beautiful, soft silicone and is comfortable to hold and use. I would give this toy a strong 4/5 stars and will definitely adding it to my list of favorites as well as keeping it with my go to favorites. Thank you Betty’s Toy Box for this awesome toy!

 

It’s Complicated

I never really understood the point in saying a relationship was complicated. I used to figure it either was a thing or it wasn’t; the feeling are or they aren’t. At least until I didn’t understand up until now.

Now I know it really can be complicated. It is not as easy as black and white. I am feeling like my relationship is drifting into complicated territory and I finally understand. I go from being really happy when I am with him, especially when we kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. However, when we are apart, I can’t help but feel slightly unhappy.

The unhappiness comes mostly from my lack of self confidence, but it also has to do with the lack of sexuality in our relationship. I have a very high sex drive and I am finding out that he does not. I used to think that his workload and stress was a huge factor, but now I can’t help but feel like it has to do with me. It wouldn’t be the first time.

I also can’t help but feel the inevitable approach. He will be graduating and potentially moving out of the area unless he miraculously gets a job in the area, Even then he might not stick around.

I fell in love with him, but I couldn’t get him to fall for me. Soon we are either going to have to step up our relationship prematurely or end it before it truly gets a chance to bloom. We have been talking for 7 months, and officially a couple for about 4. It feels too soon to have the talk about moving in with each other, but if he can’t get a job and does want to stay, one of us will have to move in. I have thought about it long and hard and am willing to support him financially if it comes down to it. I would love it if he stayed.

I don’t feel ready to move with him, if that is what he wants. I would be willing to go long distance, but if it ends before we get anywhere I feel like I might start resenting him. I would feel like I wasted a bunch of time twiddling my thumbs waiting for something to happen when it never does.

I have been trying really hard to think positively, but it is getting harder as what feels like the end comes near. Each day that passes my feelings get a little bit more complicated,

Its the Little Things

School is wrapping up for him, so we haven’t been able to hang out as much. We manage to text every day, some more than others. We went a week and a half before we could see each other. 

The plan was for him to come over and us to play video games after I cooked us dinner. However, a combination of my idiot roommate and his need to finish more homework put a wrench in those plans. 

I called him on my way home after work and we decided that I should go to his place. I offered to pick something up for food, but he said he could cook dinner instead. I stopped off at home to change before heading over. 

When I finally got to his place I was greeted with a big hug and kiss. Dinner was just finishing cooking so he served it up for us. We watched Mama Mia! as we ate. It was my first time seeing it and I enjoyed it. 

After we finished eating we cuddled and held hands for the rest of the movie. Sadly he had more homework to work on so I had to leave after the movie. We hugged and kissed at the door saying goodbye. 

I hated leaving and wanted more time, but I was glad to have gotten tge time that I did. Dinner was delicious, the movie was good, and the company was the best. Its the little things that count and make it special. 

30 Days of Truth – Day 13: A Band or Artist That Has Gotten You Through Some Tough Ass Days. (write a letter.)

Dear 3LW,

Back in 8th grade I experienced my first bout of sexual harassment. I went to my crush’s house one Saturday afternoon and he kept trying to make moves on me.

Your album had just come out and I played it over and over. After this incident, there was only one song I wanted to listen to. It felt the most relatable to my experience. For weeks I listened to “Gettin’ Too Heavy” on repeat.

I hate to think about what I would have done without that song at that time. I didn’t feel comfortable going to anyone about my problem, so this song helped tremendously. Thank you.

Sexual Confession

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

10. Write a sexual confession to your partner or someone you admire. Be straight forward or as kinky as you would like.

To my sexy boyfriend,

Remember that night last week when you were trying to study and I just kept sending you filthy things in hopes of distracting you? I sent everything from naughty sexts to pics of me in lingerie and sexy panties. Later on I sent some erotica I wrote about me getting to suck that lovely cock of yours.

Well, you never asked what got me so worked up, but I want to tell you anyways. It started with a picture meme that I saw on Facebook. It said “Relationship Goals” and showed a cartoon image of a female sitting on the toilet and her man standing in front or her aiming his stream into the open seat between his legs.

A few weeks ago I made a joke about peeing being one of my fetishes. I played it off as a joke because I didn’t know how you would react. You seemed to go along with the joke, but this is where I tell you I wasn’t joking. I really do enjoy watching men pee. It is still very embarrassing to admit, but I want to open up and be honest. Who knows, maybe it is your thing too. If it is not, that is ok. I understand and don’t blame you one bit.

So yeah, just seeing that picture got me worked up. I started fantasizing about us being in that situation, then I started thinking about the time I hopped in the shower and you had to pee before getting in. I tried not to be a creeper about it, but I got so turned on sneaking a peak while you took a leak.

So yeah, now you now. I hope this doesn’t scare you off.