TMI Tuesday – Sexpectations

This week on TMI Tuesday let’s talk sexual expectations or…

sexpectations art

1. What are some challenges related to your sex life?

The fact that I don’t have much of one at the moment. There are many things that I want to explore, but have not found the right one to explore with me.

2. Is quality or quantity most important?

I asked this question once, debating on good sex, bad sex, or no sex. It came down to definitely preferring quality over quantity.

3. How much sex is enough?

There is no such thing, or at least I have not been able to discover a point of being satisfied with my amount of sex.

4. I want to have more __experiences. I don’t want to just have sex, but I want it to be memorable___ .
5. I would like to attempt new sex positions such as __cowgirl and doggy style___ .
6. I would like to stop doing __no___ sex position. (As in I never want to stop having sex, even if it is the same one over and over.
7. To me foreplay means ___a big tease, but I love every minute of it__ .
8. Something I think about a lot related to sex is __when my next fuck will be___ .

Bonus: Tell us something you love about your sex life.

I love that I can be so open about my sex life, writing about it and going back and reading it later. I also appreciate that, even if it was a shitty sexperience, I was able to learn something from it.

TMI Tuesday blog

Meeting MiMi

Friday night we had a girl’s night. It was tame compared to others, but we still had a blast. After work we all met up at my place. We then all climbed into a van and headed to a local sex toy shop. I had been on a mission to get the We-Vibe Tango, but after calling the night before I was informed that they didn’t carry it. I was more than a little miffed the day before, since the girl on the phone was kind of snotty, but I decided to make it a fun field trip.

I headed straight for the bullets. I didn’t see any that I liked. I went to the expensive display case and a cashier asked me if I had any questions. I whined about wanting the Tango, and asked if I could see how strong a certain bullet was. She asked me if I was looking for rumbley vibes and I said, “Yes!” She said to meet “MiMi” and pulled out a cute little clit vibe. She turned it on and turned it up for me, then handed it to me. I was in love, I admit. However, I was still hesitant since I still couldn’t get over the Tango. I played around with MiMi, loving the velvety silicone texture, the powerful vibes, and curious about the shape. It was like a flat bullet, thin and oval shaped, kind of like an egg.

I told the worker that I would think about it. When she put MiMi away and went to help someone else I pulled up and looked for reviews on MiMi. I liked what I read, but was still unsure. I walked around a bit, giving my friends advice on toys (one was going for a nasty jelly toy).

I went back to the display case and longed. I made my choice. I found a cashier and she got out a brand new boxed up MiMi for me. It cost me nearly 100 bucks, and I prayed she would be worth it.

When we got home I ran to my room and got MiMi to charging, we had pizza and drinks, played some Cards Against Humanity, and chatted. It was tame, there was no flashing or groping, as we had a new lady with us. Around 10 everyone was gone and I went to bed. MiMi was ready.

I only really liked the highest setting, and damn it felt good. Handling was a little awkward, but I finally got the sweet spot. I felt an orgasm come on, and it felt weak. However it continued, and built up. When I felt like it was almost over, I started to take the toy away from my clit, but couldn’t stop. I ended up pressing her closer to my clit, coming even harder. I squirted. I soaked my bed. It had been over a year since I soaked it that much. I couldn’t stop squirting, it felt so good.

Finally my clit got too sensitive and I had to remove MiMi. I liked the orgasm I had, but it was different than one I normally have with bullets. It was stronger in the way it lasted longer and how much I squirted, but it wasn’t as body shaking. I didn’t clench up as much as I normally do. That worries me a bit, but we shall see.

Meet MiMi, and click to see what she does to me.

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Raw Lust

**Yesterday’s post was very unsexy, I know, but I needed to say it. If you are still reading my stuff, I am glad to know that I haven’t scared you off. As a treat, here’s a bit of erotica, a true story about probably the only time I felt truly wanted by my last ex.**

I was topless in the living room with his topless roommate. We were feeling up each other’s tits, massaging each other. I made him sit back and watch. I knew he wanted in, but he wasn’t allowed, that was my rule.

He couldn’t take it anymore and said it was bedtime. He pulled me off the couch and shoved me into his room, shutting the door roughly. He nearly ripped off my clothes as he pushed me into the bed and stripped his clothes off.

My cunt was dripping with excitement. This was the first time I didn’t initiate the sex, the first I felt raw lust. It was the first time I truly felt wanted, even needed by him.

Once we were all undressed (in a manner of seconds), he climbed on top of me and stuck his dick into me. I clenched my kegels hard around his stiffness. He took that as a challenge and trusted deeper than ever before.

It didn’t take long for him to start pounding my pussy, hard and fast. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pushing him in, holding him captive inside me.

He broke free and continued to fuck me, hard, like the little slut that I am. I started talking dirty and he lost all control, shooting his load inside me.

Struggling

Ever since I was a toddler, I have struggled with weight. I remember when I was three or four my mom had my lie down on my back so that we could button some pants I had.

I got made fun of in school, some bullies called me “rolls.” When we had earthquakes, the next day in class the kids would ask if I fell out of bed, etc. I was asthmatic, so running never went well for me. When I tried, he kids walked faster than I ran and made sure to taunt me about it.

My parents always made it known that I was “fat,” though they were ones to talk. They commented on watching my portions, not eating “fat food,” etc. however, they never gave me the tools I needed to do something about it. I ate what they cooked, then got ridiculed for wanting more.

My second year in high school I lost a lot of weight. It was probably a combination of being starved (mom had no job, we had no food, and even had cake mix for dinner one night) and the fact that I took swimming for PE. When I moved back in with my dad and stepmom I kept losing weight. I had to walk a mile up and down a steep hill to the bus stop in the boonies.

Senior year I had one of my biggest heart breaks as a young one. My best friend wrote me an email telling me that he didn’t want to be my friend anymore, we had nothing in common, and to never speak to him again. I was crushed. I soon moved back in with my mom and started gaining my weight back.

Currently I am at my heaviest weight ever, and I am ashamed. I hate how I look, how I feel. I hate that I have trouble sitting at restaurants now, as the tables so damn squished. I hate that I can’t find clothes that fit. I am starting to have breathing problems and hygiene issues.

I have tried diets and exercise. With diets, the healthy food is so fucking expensive. Every time I find myself In a financially safe spot to buy “the good stuff,” something happens to negate that. Before the accident I had massive foot pain that made it near impossible to walk at the end of the day. The doctors had no answers. They kept prescribing me anti inflammatory drugs and pain killers, that did nothing. I still can’t be on my feet long periods of time. Now with the neck injury, I have to be careful. I can’t lift weights or swim because it makes my neck pop and my back starts tingling then spasming.

Last week I went to the doctor to talk about my options. I want to get the stomach surgery, as I feel I am a good candidate. The doctor agrees with me. Next week I have an appointment with a nutritionist to try and get me on an affordable, healthy eating plan. I would like to avoid surgery if I can, but if I can’t, I am prepared to take the risk.

If Only I Were Poly…

This last summer D took me to breakfast. We both had something we wanted to share with the other. I was nervous to tell him my thing, since the last time something along the same lines came about he was bummed about.

He picked me up that morning and we went to a little diner. After we ordered, he asked for my news first. I told him about the “new relationship” I was in. We had only been seeing each other a few days, but I was liking him. I was shocked when D said he was happy for me. When I asked what the difference was from a few weeks ago when I “fell” into a relationship, he said because this sounded like something I wanted, plus he heard it from me instead of facebook.

I asked what his news was. He told me he was polyamorous and in a poly relationship with an ex of his (who was with a couple). He said he had been for years, but was just now being open about it. He said that ideally, he would prefer to have one main relationship and as a couple have other partners. I told him good luck. I didn’t really know what else I could say. I then told him I was glad he felt comfortable telling me, and he said it was important to tell me since we have sex on occasion (when I am single).

On the way home, I told him that him being poly made since, being as how he has always had multiple partners. I added that it made sense why we never became an item, since I am very much monogamous. He said it wasn’t just that, but he always felt like I wouldn’t be happy with him. I told him I understand.

A few weeks later we talked again about him being poly. I told him that I wished I was, since I really needed to see someone that wasn’t the guy I was dating. J was texting me at the time as well, and I told D all about J. I said it would be so much easier if I was poly, then I could see both guys. Who knows, maybe I could get that relationship with D I have always wanted.

If I was poly, and my partners were aware, I could see one when the other wasn’t available. I don’t think I would have to worry about not getting enough sex. I love the idea of having multiple loves. I just can’t get past the idea of them having other partners. I get too jealous. Someday, I hope that will all change.

Receiving Oral and My Experiences

The other day, one of my favorite bloggers posted on Twitter, asking about how men feel about giving cunnilingus, how they feel about women who are with men that don’t enjoy giving it, and the experiences of women who don’t enjoy receiving oral. I started to reply, but then realized that there is more to the answer than I can put in just 140 characters. I decided to make it a post.

First off, when I first started my sexual career, I was embarrassed about the idea of receiving oral. I was so worried about the smell and taste of my juices. It took a lot of coaxing from Ex #4 before I let him return the favor. It felt nice, but it really didn’t do much. The Ex loved it though, so I let him.

When Toby and I were messing around I asked him to give back once. He came up with a bullshit answer, saying that you should only do that if you are in love with a woman. I was hurt, but didn’t care too much, since it never did much anyways. I just wanted the favor returned.

Soon after stopping things with Toby, Will and I got together. He informed me that he just wasn’t into that kind of thing. It brought back memories of Toby telling me no and his reason why, and I associated Toby’s reason with Will’s. I was crushed.

Fast forward three years and you have the last boyfriend and I. He claimed that “eating pussy” was one of his most favorite things ever. He tried once, when I wasn’t quite ready (not shaved), found a hair and stopped completely. He hadn’t even really started. He said he would try another time when I was better groomed. I felt ashamed of myself, my body. A few weeks later and we decided to try again. I was fresh out of the shower (something I make sue to do before anyone goes down there), shaved, and ready to go.

Somehow he ended up getting into a very awkward position. His tongue had barely touched my slit when he pulled back and said that I tasted funny. My heart sank. My worst fear had just come true when it came to the bedroom. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and I slid a finger inside of me, letting my finger soak up my juices. I put my fingers to my mouth and prepared for the worst. I licked hesitantly. I tasted fine. Normal, in fact, kind of sweet. I was very upset.

When he came back, I told him that I tasted myself. He scrunched up his face in disgust and I said I tasted fine. He never tried to go down on me again, but I didn’t want him to. He did a number on me, this is one of them. I still feel extremely embarrassed of myself, very selfconscious. I haven’t had anyone try again since that unfortunate experience, but then again my partners have been limited. I find that ok with me, since it never really did anything more than just feel nice.

TMI Tuesday – TMI and Conan

In the U.S.A. there is a late-night talk show hosted by comedian/writer Conan O’Brien.

I had not seen Conan O’Brien show for several years. Recently, I decided to watch it and I heard these questions for TMI Tuesday.

TMI & Conan O’Brien

1. One thing I will never comprehend is ____ .

How can some humans be so inhumane.

2. My blood type is ____ .

A+

3. I am pretty healthy for ____ .

Being overweight.

4. When I really cannot sleep I ____ .

Masturbate. Having an orgasm makes me relax enough to pass out.

5. You never forget your ____ .

First kiss. First love. Anything first, really.

6. As a child my favorite pet was ____ .

The cat, and they still are my favorite to this day.

Bonus: This week’s question comes from The Late Phoenix – “Why was fuck chosen as the ultimate swear word? It coulda easily been duck.”

Fuck is the most versatile word around! It can be a noun or a verb. However, typing this, I see how duck can be used in the same ways. I have no fucking clue, now!

Last Spring

Last year I met a guy on a dating site. I thought he was adorable, and we had tons in common (as it usually goes with me). We did a lot of chatting on Skype, some texting. He was a really nice guy. The only problem was that he lived several hours away in another state.

In the end of April/beginning of May I had a long weekend, due to a switch in my schedule. I took it as a chance to go and meet the guy. I was unsure at the time of getting a hotel room or staying with him, so I played it by ear.

I woke up early that morning, had breakfast with the roommate and my mom across the street. After breakfast I headed home, tossed my overnight bag in my car, gassed up, and hit the road. It was a nice drive, especially through the redwoods, and it only took 2 hours or so.

I texted him when I was about half an hour away and we planned to meet at the Dairy Queen. I ordered a Blizzard and he ordered a burger. We made small talk, both very nervous. After we were done eating we left and he directed me to his house.

At his house, I met his parents and best friend. I got the grand tour, mostly his room and computer room, the kitchen, and bathrooms. We stepped out onto the back porch, and the view was amazing.

Not long after the tour it was time to go. We were expected at a Dungeons and Dragons game at some other friend’s of his. He told me where to go and We got there I got another tour. They were a very nice husband and wife couple. They were total gamers, as well as his wife being very artsy.

We had burgers for dinner, they played D&D while I mostly watched. After the game we sat in the living room and chatted. It was getting late, so we made our leave. It was pitch black so he gave me directions back to his place.

We went to his room and I asked to use the bathroom for a shower. I was quick in the shower, and returned to him in his room. We cuddled for a bit, talked. I was exhausted from the drive. We tried watching a movie, but the cable went out.

When we were cuddling, he kissed me. I wasn’t ready, so I didn’t really get into it. He started thrusting his hips towards me, his erection obvious. I told him it was too soon, we had just meant, and I was exhausted. He said he understood, but he kept doing it. I finally gave in and rubbed his dick for a bit.

I wasn’t in the mood, in fact, I was a little annoyed. I announced my exhaustion again, and he seemed to be satisfied. Thinking about it, if I wasn’t so tired, I would have loved to suck his cock.

I slept like crap that night. I tossed and turned. Every time I started to doze, I woke up. I couldn’t wait til it was morning. When morning came, we went to breakfast in a little hole in the wall place a few blocks away. Afterwards, we got back to his place and hung out in his computer room.

After a while, I knew I should get going. I had fun, but I was exhausted and work changed the schedule the day before I left, turning my five days off into three days off. We hugged goodbye, he stole a kiss, and walked me to my car.

It was a nice drive home, and when I finally did get home I took a nap. We still talk every once in a while, but when I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in a relationship, he moved on. I think about him and his friends often. I would love to go back up there to visit, but I am unsure of how awkward that would be.

Sinful Sunday – Painting the Pink

The prompt is was abstract. I thought the prompt was all month long, not just last week. Oh well, here it is! I went through my naughty pics and found a picture I took for J when I was out of town for work. The first one is the abstract fun I had with an old iPad app I had. Click for the original. I think I painted my pink well. What do you think?

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*click*
Sinful Sunday