Laying it on Thick

I was texting with Aaron today (like we tend to do a lot at work, especially on break when there are others around) and I was laying it on thick. Complimenting, flirting, etc. He was doing the same and I didn’t stop smiling once.

When I got home I picked up the flirting even more, adding in extra “*blushes*” after compliments. I may have added one too many because he finally asked why I was blushing even more. I realized I kind of set a trap for myself and walked right into it.

I decided to come clean and told him that I liked him, but had been afraid of making things awkward if he didn’t feel the same. I didn’t realize that I was holding my breath until he texted back that he felt the same way. The weight that lifted off my shoulders was amazing.

We have plans to hang out on our days off, and we will see what happens. There is talk of going out on a date at some point, so I am nervous/excited for that. We are both looking forward to seeing where things go.

The Good, the Conflict, and the Potential

I know that my updating has become quite sporadic, and I apologize. A combination of being busy (I have a social life now, believe it or not) and not much to say. I was paranoid about Andy finding my blog, though I don’t think he would have cared too much.

As of last night, Andy and I are no more. He is moving out of the area and neither of us wanted long distance. He doesn’t feel like it works, and I had been wanting to end things for a while anyways. For the most part I was happy, but the other part I was miserable.

Things became even more complicated when I started to develop feelings for one of my coworkers, now friend. I am pretty sure he likes me too, but we are both too shy to admit it. We are always complimenting each other, flirting, and dropping innuendos. Around him we can talk forever or sit in silence and we are both content enjoying each other’s company. With him, the hours feel like minutes and the minutes feel like seconds.

I find myself able to open up to Aaron (coworker crush) much more than I ever did with Andy. We also have loads more in common than I did with Andy. I am curious to see where we go. Will we friend zone each other, or are we on the path to a beautiful relationship? Only time will tell.

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about Andy, and I have for the last few months. On one hand I am excited to try for Aaron, but I am also sad to see Andy go. If things don’t work romantically with Aaron I am dreading having to go through the whole dating process over again. If things don’t work out, I am in no rush to meet someone new. I am just so sick of people I am close to moving away.

Breakfast of Champions

We had discussed the idea of me waking him up with head many times, however I was always either too shy to do so or the timing just wasn’t right (usually had to rush off to work when staying over on a work night). Last weekend I was determined to be brave enough. It had been a long time since we played and I needed it badly.

I woke up next to him and rolled over to spoon. As I glanced down I noticed his morning wood. That was the encouragement I needed. I began running my hand up and down the length of his body, feeling him all over, taking it all in. With each stroke I let my hand get closer and closer to his cock.

In a sleepy moan, he rolled over to his side facing away from me, but pulling my into a big spoon/little spoon position. He clutched my hand to his chest and went back to sleep. I snuggled against him, content to be in his arms. He finally let go of my hand and I began rubbing him all over again, getting a little bolder with my hand.

I let my hand linger around his cock, feeling what I had access to. As I felt him twitch alive again he grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest again. I took that as a hint to leave him alone and snuggled up to him again. I admit, I was a little annoyed, but was understanding and patient.

A few minutes later he woke up and I commented about the heat in the room. He told me to go take a cold shower. Annoyed, I asked him if he thought I needed to cool off in more ways than one. He chuckled and said no, but that he was dreaming that I was feeling him all over. I told him it wasn’t a dream, but he kept pulling my hand away so I took a hint.

He said he didn’t realize that he stopped me in his sleep because he very much wanted me to continue. I grinned mischievously at him as we both adjusted ourselves so that I had access to his cock. I began by just rubbing through his pajama shorts, until his cock got hard.

Once he was hard, I slipped my hand inside to rub through his boxers. I reached inside the flap and gently pulled out his cock. I rubbed and stroked for a bit, until I stated that I wanted to suck it. He said that I could and freed himself from his shorts.

I excitedly curled up next to him and bent my head. I kissed the tip, then softly ran my tongue around before lowering my mouth onto him. I was so happy to have his cock in my mouth again. I massaged my tongue around him, while beginning to suck and move my head up and down his shaft.

I was very enthusiastic in my efforts, as I desperately wanted to make him come and taste him. Once I got a steady rhythm, I picked up my pace and suction. I could tell he was getting close, and I oh so desperately wanted to switch my rhythm and technique so that I could keep going, but getting him to orgasm was my goal. He said between breaths that he was close and I kept up exactly what I was doing. He started gently grinding his hips into my face. I followed his rhythm and kept going.

I finally heard the words I have been wanting to hear since we started dating. He was coming. He moaned the sexiest of moans and shortly after I felt his sweet, hot liquid shoot into my mouth. As his orgasm slowed down, I slowed down, making sure to clean every last drop. I swallowed easily and moved up to cuddle him some more. He held me, and we thanked each other.

“Now, how about we go find something for you to eat other than come?” he said jokingly.

I smiled and told him that I just had the breakfast of champions, full of protein. We giggled and cuddled some more before getting up to get dressed and starting the day.

Thirst

We might have had a little bit too much wine, and I had to work the next morning. I didn’t care, and figured I could catch up on sleep the next night. All I wanted was to enjoy a night in with Andy. 

I cooked him dinner and we watched B-rated horror movies on netflix. The movies were terrible, but we had a blast adding our own commentary to the films. 

The first bottle of wine was drained fast. He convinced me to open the other. We drank that even faster. At one point my hand began resting on the crotch of his pants. I began to rub, feeling his hardness grow immediately. He inquired about my roommate being home, and I quickly shrugged it off. I could behave if she came out of her room, though I was pretty certain she would make herself scarce.

Eventually my hand worked itself into his shorts and I got a nice grip on his shaft. I twirled my index finger around the head, lingering on the frenulum where I did small, light circles. 

With his right arm around my shoulders and his left hand gently stroking my face and hand, I somehow manuevered my mouth onto his thumb. I began treating it like I would his cock; swirling, sucking, and massaging it with my tongue. His moans were steadily getting louder. 

Unable to take the teasing, he removed his thumb from my mouth and reached down to unzip. His cock was finally free, so I lowered my head and started by kissing his head. Slowly I lowered my mouth, covering the whole head. Swirling my tongue and sucking, I began to bob my head up and down. I had a terrible angle, so I was only able to attend to his head. 

I don’t remember much (or most) of the movie, but I do remember telling him at one point that the movie needed to end so we could go to my room. I don’t remember if we finished the movie, but eventually we landed in my room. 

After shutting the door, I flipped back the top blanket and walked around to the side that gives me the best cock sucking angle. By the time I got to my side, he was on my bed naked and waiting. 

To be continued…

Preparation

I came to the realization the other day that everyone I have ever dated has prepared me for Andy. So far Andy is my favorite boyfriend That I have ever had, the best one I ever dated, etc.

The biggest example I can think of is J. Andy and J are similar in the fact that they both have major ups and downs. The only difference is that Andy hasn’t done anything to disappoint me (knock on wood). J was infamous for flaking on all the time, however, Andy has only had to cancel once, and that was due to homework. School comes first, I get it. Totally excusable. J just flaked because he could, didn’t care how I felt, etc.They both have severe mood swings, and I saw the worst of J. In the end I realized he was controlling in his passive aggressiveness. I have yet to see the darker side of Andy, granted, but I know it is there and feel prepared in how to deal thanks to my experience with J.,

Another example would be Will. If I hadn’t had the experience of slow moving Will, I would have given up on Andy way too soon. Yes, there were many mixed signals, but mostly good ones that kept me encouraged to keep pursuing Andy.

As far as Lee goes, Andy graduates next semester. Lee left easily, without looking back. I know that a lot can happen in 5 or 6 months, but in that time Andy will be graduating. I have been having to think about whether I could drop everything and move (if that’s what his future prospects require him to do, or if I could handle long distance, or if we even need to break things off.

As far as H goes, he broke down my most recent wall. I was made vulnerable again, allowing myself to open up to Andy enough to let him in and in the end take the next step of boyfriend and girlfriend.

There were many others in between, but those are the ones with the most significant impact on me, allowing me to be ready for everything that Andy has to offer, plus so much more.The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sneaky Fondle

It was getting late and I was ready to go back to his place. We were at my coworker’s place, where we had just wrapped up the board game we were playing. My coworker went to bed, leaving her husband to chat and visit with Andy and I. 

I snuggled next to Andy on the couch and he wrapped his left arm around me while holding my right hand with his, my arm stretched out across his lap. 

Coworker’s husband (we’ll call him CH) was setting up his new console while chatting with Andy, not paying too much attention to us. 

I began to run my hand up and down his thigh (not too far so as to be inappropriate, but enough to hint that I wanted to touch him). Still holding my hand, he surprised me by sliding it under his shorts, resting just shy of his cock. He released my hand and pulled his shorts down to cover my hand. 

They talked while I explored. I had a bad angle, so I wasn’t able to weild his dick in my hand. I was however, able to run my finger along the tip and up and down the shaft. 

I was feeling naughty and ready to play. To be honest, I had been ready all afternoon, but had behaved myself until now. He started to get hard and finally asked the magic question of if I was ready to go. 

CH was busy with his new game and hadn’t even noticed what I was up to. I slid my hand out of his shorts and stood up. Andy stood up after giving himself a slight adjustment. We gathered our things as we said goodbye and walked back to my car.

On the way back to Andy’s I gethered my courage and asked if he was up for a little fun before I had to get home. You know his answer was yes.  

From Baby Steps to Doing it All

I made sure to get off work early so that I had sufficient time to get ready for Andy to come over for dinner. I did some last minute cleaning and a quick shower before I started on dinner. I started to get a little concerned when I hadn’t heard from him by the time dinner was just about done. Finally he texted, but after the time we had scheduled. He over slept and was on his way.

After driving to 3 different places for wine, he finally showed up 2 hours later. I would have been annoyed, but I was just glad he didn’t cancel like everyone else would have. We watched some of the anime he loaned me while we ate. Eventually my roommate came out to cook her dinner, but thankfully kept to herself. After she was done cooking, she left us to go to her friend’s.

We finished the anime and decided to go play my Super Nintendo. We chose Donkey Kong, one of our child hood favorites. We  did pretty good at first, but the wine snuck up on us and we kept dying. After dying for what felt like the twentieth time on my favorite level, I tossed the remote aside and leaned over him smiling. I leaned a little closer and we kissed. One kiss turned into three, then I lost count as we began to make out.

The background music of the game got irritating after a while, so we stopped kissing long enough to turn it off. As soon as it was off, we went right back to kissing, this time clothing was getting removed. There was a lot of heavy petting, and eventually he was delighted to have found my nipple piercings.

Soon we were naked and I told him where my condoms were, as he had my pinned down. The sex was good and hot. It was rough than I had ever experienced, but I found it thrilling and exciting. My chest and neck are covered in hickeys and bruises, a nice reminder of the other night.

After sex, we hopped in the shower and rinsed off our sweaty and hot bodies. We kissed and nibbled some more.

Once out of the shower we got dressed and cuddled on my bed talking. I gathered up the courage and asked what we were, asking if he considered us boyfriend and girlfriend. I was happy to hear him say yes, that neither of us do friends with benefits.

I was up 24 hours by the time I got in bed that morning, but it was well worth it. The next night I hung out at his place for a few hours before he had to go to bed. He cooked dinner again and we had some fresh brownies. I probably won’t see him until after this is posted. I am excited to see where this goes.

Moving Forward with Andy

It was almost a month before I could have another date with Andy since he went out of town for winter break. We texted every day though, some days more text than others. Before he came back we made plans for our next date on a day he was free.

The plan was for him to cook me dinner and for us to go see a movie. All day my mind was running marathons, wondering what would happen. Things felt slow, but steady with him. I had too much time to get ready, so my mind was filled with all different scenarios. In the end, I wouldn’t have done anything differently; it was perfect.

He cooked me spicy spaghetti that was delicious. We watched a bit of TV before we left for the movie. I was greatly relieved when he asked if he could drive us to the movies. I suck at night driving, and he knew the area better than I. Plus, the song “Passenger Seat” had been going through my head all week.

Partway through the movie I managed to slide my hand down towards his, but he didn’t seem to take the bait so I went back to keeping my hand to myself. I gave it another 10 minutes and slid my hand down again. This time he had his hand waiting, and took mine in his. We sat through the rest of the movie holding hands, and even through most of the credits. Once the credits came on we started talking about the movie, our favorite parts, etc. Towards the end of the credits we finally let go and stood up to stretch.

Once back in his car, he asked if I wanted to come inside to visit some more. I eagerly accepted, not caring that I had to be up for work in 8 hours. We watched more TV and chatted. Finally at midnight he said it was his bedtime. He walked me to my car, and we hugged goodbye. At the end of the hug he pulled back, looking in my eyes smiling. As I smiled back, he leaned down and kissed me the softest, sweetest kiss. Too soon the hug broke off and I got in my car.  We had plans to hang out that coming Saturday, this time it was my turn to cook dinner.

The Ending of H

Several times H and I tried to make plans, but they always fell through as he just could not would not make time for me. Because I have been flaked on so many times in my dating career, I moved on pretty fast. I was kind of annoyed that we had sex and haven’t seen each other since, but no regrets. It was good after all.

On New Year’s Eve he called me and asked if I had plans. Of course I did, I had plans to go with a coworker and her mom to play card games, drink, and watch the ball drop. H was pretty disappointed that I was busy, but the conversation was short because my friend showed up as I answered the phone.

After I got home, H was on messenger. We chatted, and he was still bummed we couldn’t hang. I told him it was for the best, and he didn’t understand why. I laid it all out for him, telling him how inconsistent he was, and that I needed someone that could would make time for me. He understood, but didn’t like it.

He claimed to feel like we were becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. I quickly reminded him that he kept going back and forth on that sentiment. He agreed and apologized again. He claimed that he just didn’t have the time to be a proper boyfriend, etc.

In the end, we agreed on being friends until he decided he had the time. I made it clear that I wasn’t going to wait around for him, that I fully intended to date and see where my heart lead me. We haven’t talked all that much, and to be completely honest, I am ok with that.

Ramblings and Over Thoughts

I over think things a lot, as well as nit pick and analyze. One thing I have been trying to teach myself is to take things for what they are and not to over think.

At first I was worried when I got so many mixed signals from Andy last week, but I have pretty much talked myself out of any worries I have. For example: He likes me, he must if he keeps talking everyday. He wouldn’t have held my hand if he didn’t want to the other night. If he didn’t want my hand resting on his leg, he could have easily changed positions so that it wasn’t resting there naturally. He definitely wouldn’t call me hun every once in a while. Today he mentioned another date night (no day set yet because he is still out of town), but we definitely have a plan.

The other day I got a little paranoid when he wasn’t as talkative. I was worried that me texting him some variant of “Good morning, hope you have a good day,” was getting annoying or irritating. He immediately texted back that it was perfectly fine and sweet, that it meant I thought about him when I woke up. My mind was instantly put at ease.

Things are going well, and seem to be on the right track. I look forward to seeing where things go. As far as H goes, things are pretty much over with him. I honestly feel a little icky for having sex with him now. I mean, the sex was good, but now he has every excuse in the book to get out of seeing me again. I don’t need that kind of negativity.