My Last Sexual Experience

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

2. Write about your last sexual experience. How was it different from your first sexual experience?

My last sexual experience was over two months ago. Andy came over and I cooked us dinner while we watched B-rated horror movies on Netflix. I wrote about it in stronger detail in the above link. We have been going through a bit of a dry spell at the moment. He has been busy with school, so he hasn’t been too focused on sex.

Anyways, to answer the question, there are a lot of differences between my first and last experiences. Back then I had no idea what I was doing. Now, I know exactly what I am doing and love to prolong my technique. I definitely have more experience and knowledge about sex and masturbation. I don’t feel as guilty after sexy encounters.

Both first and last encounters are different because of the partner. The partner I am currently with took things a lot slower than the first. The first shared many firsts with me, where my last and I don’t have very many firsts together, if any. In a way my first encounter was more special, but my last was way hotter. Both memories are fuzzy though, one was just because it was over 10 years ago, the other because I had consumed a lot of alcohol beforehand.

My First Sexual Experience

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

1. Write about your first sexual experiences. Interpret sexual experience any way like, even it’s about you first kiss.

I only really briefly mentioned my first true sexual experience. I have written about my first high school make out sessions where the guy hinted about the boner he popped, but due to my lack of sexual knowledge, I got very uncomfortable. I will do my best in relaying the full details, but they are pretty fuzzy.

The first time that I remember getting sexual with a partner was my first year in college. I met a guy in my human sexuality class that I really hit it off with. We began hanging out and chatting every night on Yahoo Messenger, and even playing an online game together.

We took turns riding the bus to each other’s homes. One day we walked from the bus stop to my place in the pouring rain. We were drenched by the time we got inside. To dry off a little quicker, we removed some clothing to hang up in my room to dry.

I believe we got down to our underwear. I know for a fact that we started cuddling and making out. His boner became very obvious. I asked if I could see it, since we were in the human anatomy section of our class. He pulled down his tighty whities and let his cock free. I looked at it and gently started to touch it. I started naming the parts in my head (the corona, the frenulum, the shaft, etc).

He asked me if I wanted to kiss it. I said yes as I leaned my head down and kissed the very tip. He asked me to kiss a little more, and I slowly began to kiss up and down his shaft and head. I got curious, and a kiss on the head turned into me taking the tip into my mouth. I experimented with a little suck before slowly taking in more of his cock.

I knew I was doing a good job when I heard the moans and gasps of pleasure escape his mouth. I started to think about everything I had ever read about performing fellatio and began doing everything I had ever imagined. He was fully consumed by the pleasure I was giving him. I made myself quicken up, since I knew I had to go soon. I had a ride picking me up to help with a small job.

Luckily he didn’t take long to come, and I swallowed because I didn’t know what else to do. We finished dressed right as my ride texted that they were outside.

Afterwards, I felt many things. I was very turned on, that was obvious, but I was also feeling guilty. I grew up sheltered, and thinking sex and nudity were wrong. I kept feeling like something bad was going to happen to him after he left. It was still very stormy when we had to leave. My guilt and anxiety went down a lot once he texted that he was home.

Preparation

I came to the realization the other day that everyone I have ever dated has prepared me for Andy. So far Andy is my favorite boyfriend That I have ever had, the best one I ever dated, etc.

The biggest example I can think of is J. Andy and J are similar in the fact that they both have major ups and downs. The only difference is that Andy hasn’t done anything to disappoint me (knock on wood). J was infamous for flaking on all the time, however, Andy has only had to cancel once, and that was due to homework. School comes first, I get it. Totally excusable. J just flaked because he could, didn’t care how I felt, etc.They both have severe mood swings, and I saw the worst of J. In the end I realized he was controlling in his passive aggressiveness. I have yet to see the darker side of Andy, granted, but I know it is there and feel prepared in how to deal thanks to my experience with J.,

Another example would be Will. If I hadn’t had the experience of slow moving Will, I would have given up on Andy way too soon. Yes, there were many mixed signals, but mostly good ones that kept me encouraged to keep pursuing Andy.

As far as Lee goes, Andy graduates next semester. Lee left easily, without looking back. I know that a lot can happen in 5 or 6 months, but in that time Andy will be graduating. I have been having to think about whether I could drop everything and move (if that’s what his future prospects require him to do, or if I could handle long distance, or if we even need to break things off.

As far as H goes, he broke down my most recent wall. I was made vulnerable again, allowing myself to open up to Andy enough to let him in and in the end take the next step of boyfriend and girlfriend.

There were many others in between, but those are the ones with the most significant impact on me, allowing me to be ready for everything that Andy has to offer, plus so much more.The good, the bad, and the ugly.

It Comes in Twos

One thing I have noticed recently is that my dating life tends to come in twos. Anytime I have got into some kind of relationship, it has always been when I had to choose between one guy and another.

Example 1: Right before Ex #3 and I became an item my mom was trying to set me up with a Fireman she met at her work. He picked me up once and we hung out. I started seeing Ex #3 right after so things never progressed. I really wish I remembered more about my time with the firefighter because that would have been a decent post, being as how most every female has a fireman fantasy. Damn I missed out on that one!

Example 2: Right before I started seeing Will, I had a huge Crush on Brent. It was a huge toss up on which one would make a move first. In the end Will made the first move, which I think in the end was best because I honestly don’t think Brent and I would have worked in the end because of religious differences. Well, Will and I didn’t work out for other reasons, but that’s not the point.

Example 3:  Any minor relationship that comes about, J comes back into the picture. Something usually happens to end things with said new guy to make me end up with J. J then burns me a little bit more by disappearing himself.

Example 4 – The Present: At the beginning of October I started talking to a guy on a dating site. We had a lot in common and talked online for over a month. After the month was up I asked if he wanted to meet. We had lunch and things went well. We exchanged numbers and texted often. I was honestly surprised he stayed talking to me, since I don’t have the best track record when it comes to that. I will call him Andy.

Not even after a week of meeting Andy, A guy I will call H texts me out of the blue and asks me to go to a concert. To make up for having to drive the opposite direction I say he can buy dinner since I don’t accept gas money. At the end we decide it is a date.

All week I think about how it always comes in twos. I was worried about who I should choose, wondering if at least one will stick around to be my date to my work’s Christmas party. I didn’t want to lead either of them on or have one of them end up getting hurt. I think I have decided on who has the most potential, but that will be another post.

Lessons in Geography 

We didn’t really have anywhere to go. No where private at least, that didn’t require money. Ready to take it a little bit further, test the waters, but not quite ready to bring the other home.

We ended up meeting in the mall parking lot and go from there. When he pulled up next to me I got out to greet him. We hugged and kissed briefly, then decided to warm up by walking around the mall a bit. 

We did a half lap around our tiny mall and walked back out to my car. I unlocked it and we slid into the middle seats of the minivan.

Leaning the seats back we let ourselves relax. We talked about our day, and vented about the last few days we had to spend apart. It was only date number two, but it felt like we knew each other much longer.

I couldn’t stop looking in his eyes. They were the perfect shade of milk chocolate. He would notice me looking and lean over to kiss me. It didn’t take long for us to start making out, exploring each other’s lips and tongues. I don’t normally enjoy a lot of tongue, but his was just right. I showed him how I loved having my bottom lip sucked and he happily obliged.

We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, but it was awkward finding the right positions to explore each other in. The temperature also started to make things somewhat uncomfortable. Catching my breath from his kisses, I stood up and leaned forward to turn the key in the ignition so that I could Crack the windows.

While half bending/half standing, fiddling with the windows, I felt his hand reach out and feel my waist. He slid it down my hip and Gabe a gentle smack on my ass. I grinned as I turned around and half straddled him (being careful not to put my full weight on him). I held myself up with one arm pressing on the seat, the other resting on his chest. I kissed him deeply and passionately. 

I finally made it back to my seat, and he followed. He then took his turn to straddle me. Kissing me all over, finding all the right spots. If I wasn’t already sitting I would be weak in the knees. While he kissed, I explored with my hands. I found my own sensitive spots on him to drive him wild.

Then something very sexy and intimate happened. Apparently I had found too many ticklish spots (oops :p ).

“I think it’s time for a geography lesson,” he said with a huge grin on his face as he took off his shirt. He took my hands, one in each of his, and placed them behind him on his upper back.

“Warm,” he said matter of fact lyrics. He then slid my hands down his back and rested them on the middle lower part. “Warmer,” he said simply.

He moved my hands to the top of his chest. “Still warmer,” he said before sliding to his stomach. “Very warm,” he stated. Assuming where he was going to place my hands next, he surprised me and moved them up instead, resting near his armpits. “Cold. Very cold,” he said before moving hands to the original place I had expected. “Very, very hot.”

My panties were soaked by then. I admired him in the fading light of the sunset. He was a beautiful man. I didn’t know how I had gotten so lucky. 

As much as it had cooled off outside, it was still stifling hot inside my van. I looked around and realized just how late it was getting. I also noticed how steamed up my windows were. They were like the car in the Titanic movie.  The only thing they needed was a hand print.

When we finally realized the time and were able to break away, we said our sad goodbyes. I was stuck defogging my windows for a good 10 minutes until it was clear enough to see.

Relief

A little over a month ago I started talking to a guy on a dating site. We met up for coffee,  which turned into lunch and a movie. We saw each other once after that. He wanted to hang out again, but something didn’t feel right so I kept making excuses on why I couldn’t.

I didn’t want to get rid of him altogether,  just in case it was just my self conscious and emotional walls. Something didn’t feel right with him though.

I just wasn’t impressed,  to be completely honest. Soon after meeting,  he quit his job “to be able to relax by playing more video games and sleeping. He didn’t have a car, and come to find out he didn’t have a license,  nor did he plan to get one. So many things about him reminded me of my latest ex. I just couldn’t get interested.

The last few days he’s been talking to me every day, asking when I might be available. I stayed noncommittal in my answers. Today he made me feel like I had to justify my work/sleep schedule and proceeded to tell me that my life sounded awful.

I was done at that point, but apparently so was he because next thing I see os him telling me that we weren’t right for each other because I’m never available and we are at different stages in our lives.

I am relieved,  to be honest. He couldn’t have said it better, and I didn’t quite have the words to say it that would have put it nicely. So, I am relieved on having one less excuse to make.

Slow Down

One thing I learned in my last relationship is to slow the fuck down. In every relationship I have always allowed it to move too fast. I always just went with the flow, but as fun as that can be at first, it can lead to a huge standstill, boredom, and broken promises.

My first and only high school “relationship” lasted five days, but within the first day of meeting (we had been set up by a mutual friend) we were playing tonsil hockey. With my first college boyfriend, I was giving him head barely a week into it. I was so enamored that I told him I loved him after I swallowed his cum.

My second college boyfriend was practically the same way, except twice as long. The first night I stayed the night at his house I told him I loved him. I really do feel like I loved these guys at the time, but I think it was a different kind of love, if it was love at all.

It wasn’t until this last relationship that I really started to try and define the difference between lust and love. Within two weeks of being together he told me he loved me. I feel terrible about that because I said it back, but knew that what I was feeling was close to love, but not quite. I just couldn’t figure out what.

I was very careful not to make promises. I never promised to not break his heart, as several others once did to me. I never promised forever, because I knew deep down that it was just not going to last.

So, I know to slow down, but my question is how? I don’t see myself seeing anyone for a very long time, but when the time comes, how do I make it slow down? It is such a high to get caught up in the moments of lust. At what point do we start moving forward, taking the next steps?

 

Getting My Squirt Back

I squirted when I had my first orgasm. Not only did I not know that what I had was an orgasm, I thought I had pissed all over my floor and computer chair. I started making sure to pee and empty my bladder before masturbating, but I got the same wet and messy results.

It wasn’t until I started reading blogs that I learned that squirting was a thing. I thought it was cool and rare that I could squirt just from clitoral stimulation. Most guys I talked to thought it was pretty sexy that I could squirt, though no one ever was around when I did it.

When I started dating Will, I brought up the topic of squirting. He was disgusted at the idea. I never told him that I could squirt. I stopped doing it all together when we moved in together, as I tended to soak the bed. I always knew when to stop my orgasm to prevent squirting.

When Will and I broke up I still couldn’t squirt. I was so used to not doing it that I could never push myself over that edge. It took three years to learn to squirt again. It was a joyous day when I finally did. It took just the right video. It didn’t take long for me to squirt almost every time I came.

When I got MiMi, I don’t squirt, I gush. I love it. I will never let a man (or anyone) control the way I come, ever again.

Raw Lust

**Yesterday’s post was very unsexy, I know, but I needed to say it. If you are still reading my stuff, I am glad to know that I haven’t scared you off. As a treat, here’s a bit of erotica, a true story about probably the only time I felt truly wanted by my last ex.**

I was topless in the living room with his topless roommate. We were feeling up each other’s tits, massaging each other. I made him sit back and watch. I knew he wanted in, but he wasn’t allowed, that was my rule.

He couldn’t take it anymore and said it was bedtime. He pulled me off the couch and shoved me into his room, shutting the door roughly. He nearly ripped off my clothes as he pushed me into the bed and stripped his clothes off.

My cunt was dripping with excitement. This was the first time I didn’t initiate the sex, the first I felt raw lust. It was the first time I truly felt wanted, even needed by him.

Once we were all undressed (in a manner of seconds), he climbed on top of me and stuck his dick into me. I clenched my kegels hard around his stiffness. He took that as a challenge and trusted deeper than ever before.

It didn’t take long for him to start pounding my pussy, hard and fast. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pushing him in, holding him captive inside me.

He broke free and continued to fuck me, hard, like the little slut that I am. I started talking dirty and he lost all control, shooting his load inside me.

If Only I Were Poly…

This last summer D took me to breakfast. We both had something we wanted to share with the other. I was nervous to tell him my thing, since the last time something along the same lines came about he was bummed about.

He picked me up that morning and we went to a little diner. After we ordered, he asked for my news first. I told him about the “new relationship” I was in. We had only been seeing each other a few days, but I was liking him. I was shocked when D said he was happy for me. When I asked what the difference was from a few weeks ago when I “fell” into a relationship, he said because this sounded like something I wanted, plus he heard it from me instead of facebook.

I asked what his news was. He told me he was polyamorous and in a poly relationship with an ex of his (who was with a couple). He said he had been for years, but was just now being open about it. He said that ideally, he would prefer to have one main relationship and as a couple have other partners. I told him good luck. I didn’t really know what else I could say. I then told him I was glad he felt comfortable telling me, and he said it was important to tell me since we have sex on occasion (when I am single).

On the way home, I told him that him being poly made since, being as how he has always had multiple partners. I added that it made sense why we never became an item, since I am very much monogamous. He said it wasn’t just that, but he always felt like I wouldn’t be happy with him. I told him I understand.

A few weeks later we talked again about him being poly. I told him that I wished I was, since I really needed to see someone that wasn’t the guy I was dating. J was texting me at the time as well, and I told D all about J. I said it would be so much easier if I was poly, then I could see both guys. Who knows, maybe I could get that relationship with D I have always wanted.

If I was poly, and my partners were aware, I could see one when the other wasn’t available. I don’t think I would have to worry about not getting enough sex. I love the idea of having multiple loves. I just can’t get past the idea of them having other partners. I get too jealous. Someday, I hope that will all change.