TMI Tuesday – Past, Future, and Present

Let’s do this thing–TMI Tuesday.

​1. What do you think about when you’re alone in your car? 

In my car or not, I am most always thinking about Aaron, my boyfriend. I replay the times we share together, and plan the future. Never have I ever felt so amazing, loved, and adored by one human being. It is a new feeling and I am rather addicted to it.

2. What advice do you have for your previous lover?

Don’t be afraid to open up, and communication is key. If you aren’t attracted to someone, you should not date them. Also, don’t be a dick. Don’t be nice in the beginning then turn into a dick. Just don’t.

3. What  inspires you?

To be completely honest, Aaron inspires me. He inspires me to get out of bed in the morning, and is my rock when I am having a rough day at work. He makes me want to strive to be a better person, both inside and out, physically and emotionally. Once finances allow, I plan to quit buying crap for food and getting the healthy stuff. I want to better my body and be healthy. Not just for myself, but for him and our future.

4. If you were to get rid of one person in your life, who would it be and why?

Honestly, I am pretty happy with who I have in my life. I have a few close friends, I have Aaron, and I have a few family members. The most toxic person in my life moved away and we no longer talk.

5. How do you cope when your level of sexual desire doesn’t match your partners? 

This question I know the answer all too well. Until Aaron, everyone I dated had little to no sex drive. It was tough, I will not lie. There was a lot of masturbation that helped get me through.

Bonus:  Are you single, why? Are you married, why?

I am neither single nor married. I am in the best boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that I have ever had. Why? Because I met an amazing man that I can share anything with, and he can with me. The communication we share is amazing, as is all the other things we have in common.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Kink of the Week – Handjobs

Believe it or not, the first time I touched a penis did not include a handjob. I started with blowjobs, and to be quite honest, I prefer those over handjobs. For the sake of the prompt though, I will elaborate on handjobs.

Handjobs can be fun, and one of the best ways I can learn how my partner likes his cock to be handled. Where on the shaft is the best place to wrap my hand around? Does he like a firm grip, light grip, or somewhere in between? There is nothing I love more than twirling my index finger around the head of his cock and taking the precum with me, drenching the head with it.

I have never given a handjob in an unusual place, and thinking about it, it has always been in a bedroom. I have also never given my current partner a handjob, though we have done other things. I am sure it will happen eventually, and it will be just as all of the other times we have played.

We did have a bit of a mutual masturbation session the other night, which was very hot in my opinion. I loved seeing the way he handled himself, and I took mental notes as I watched and played myself. I would love to time my orgasm to his so that we could have an orgasm at the same time. Thinking about it drives me wild. Thinking about him drives me wild.

Laying it on Thick

I was texting with Aaron today (like we tend to do a lot at work, especially on break when there are others around) and I was laying it on thick. Complimenting, flirting, etc. He was doing the same and I didn’t stop smiling once.

When I got home I picked up the flirting even more, adding in extra “*blushes*” after compliments. I may have added one too many because he finally asked why I was blushing even more. I realized I kind of set a trap for myself and walked right into it.

I decided to come clean and told him that I liked him, but had been afraid of making things awkward if he didn’t feel the same. I didn’t realize that I was holding my breath until he texted back that he felt the same way. The weight that lifted off my shoulders was amazing.

We have plans to hang out on our days off, and we will see what happens. There is talk of going out on a date at some point, so I am nervous/excited for that. We are both looking forward to seeing where things go.

Just Relax

My attention span was gone from the game we were playing. I had my mind on other things as I sat next to him at my computer, running my hand up and down his thigh. I he stopped talking at one point and made a happy sighing sound.

“Is this ok?” I asked hesitantly. It was only recently that we had started being sexual again.

“Yes, I like it,” he said smiling. I let my hand drift to his other thigh and as I ran my hand across I could feel his erection trapped in his shorts.

“Oh,” I said in happy surprise. “I guess you do like that. We should go to my room,” I suggested.

“What would we do there?” he asked, knowing full well what I had in mind.

“Well, I was thinking that you could lay back and relax while I take care of this,” I said teasingly as I ran my hand up and down the length of his thigh that just happened to have his hard cock in the way.

“That sounds good,” he said while standing up, his boner quite visible through his shorts.

He followed me to my room and I shut down the door while he got positioned on the bed. I quickly joined him at his side and eagerly helped free his cock from his shorts. Unfortunately I picked a bad angle from the get go. I tried to readjust myself, but I finally gave up and decided to just deal with it, as I had more important things to take care of.

With my left arm supporting me, I wrapped my right hand around his shaft. As I lowered my lips around him I swirled my tongue around his head, making him slide in easier. I began a slow and steady bob of my head while massaging with my tongue.

I was still at a bad angle, but it wasn’t worth changing positions. All I wanted was his cock in my mouth. Once my head had a steady rhythm I picked up the pace. It didn’t take him long to start moaning in pleasure, sounding close to climax.

Usually I like to tease and keep sucking, but I was starting to get uncomfortable balancing at the edge of the bed. I picked up my pace even more and that was all that I had to do to make him reach his peak and shoot his load down my throat.

 

The Good, the Conflict, and the Potential

I know that my updating has become quite sporadic, and I apologize. A combination of being busy (I have a social life now, believe it or not) and not much to say. I was paranoid about Andy finding my blog, though I don’t think he would have cared too much.

As of last night, Andy and I are no more. He is moving out of the area and neither of us wanted long distance. He doesn’t feel like it works, and I had been wanting to end things for a while anyways. For the most part I was happy, but the other part I was miserable.

Things became even more complicated when I started to develop feelings for one of my coworkers, now friend. I am pretty sure he likes me too, but we are both too shy to admit it. We are always complimenting each other, flirting, and dropping innuendos. Around him we can talk forever or sit in silence and we are both content enjoying each other’s company. With him, the hours feel like minutes and the minutes feel like seconds.

I find myself able to open up to Aaron (coworker crush) much more than I ever did with Andy. We also have loads more in common than I did with Andy. I am curious to see where we go. Will we friend zone each other, or are we on the path to a beautiful relationship? Only time will tell.

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about Andy, and I have for the last few months. On one hand I am excited to try for Aaron, but I am also sad to see Andy go. If things don’t work romantically with Aaron I am dreading having to go through the whole dating process over again. If things don’t work out, I am in no rush to meet someone new. I am just so sick of people I am close to moving away.

Breakfast of Champions

We had discussed the idea of me waking him up with head many times, however I was always either too shy to do so or the timing just wasn’t right (usually had to rush off to work when staying over on a work night). Last weekend I was determined to be brave enough. It had been a long time since we played and I needed it badly.

I woke up next to him and rolled over to spoon. As I glanced down I noticed his morning wood. That was the encouragement I needed. I began running my hand up and down the length of his body, feeling him all over, taking it all in. With each stroke I let my hand get closer and closer to his cock.

In a sleepy moan, he rolled over to his side facing away from me, but pulling my into a big spoon/little spoon position. He clutched my hand to his chest and went back to sleep. I snuggled against him, content to be in his arms. He finally let go of my hand and I began rubbing him all over again, getting a little bolder with my hand.

I let my hand linger around his cock, feeling what I had access to. As I felt him twitch alive again he grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest again. I took that as a hint to leave him alone and snuggled up to him again. I admit, I was a little annoyed, but was understanding and patient.

A few minutes later he woke up and I commented about the heat in the room. He told me to go take a cold shower. Annoyed, I asked him if he thought I needed to cool off in more ways than one. He chuckled and said no, but that he was dreaming that I was feeling him all over. I told him it wasn’t a dream, but he kept pulling my hand away so I took a hint.

He said he didn’t realize that he stopped me in his sleep because he very much wanted me to continue. I grinned mischievously at him as we both adjusted ourselves so that I had access to his cock. I began by just rubbing through his pajama shorts, until his cock got hard.

Once he was hard, I slipped my hand inside to rub through his boxers. I reached inside the flap and gently pulled out his cock. I rubbed and stroked for a bit, until I stated that I wanted to suck it. He said that I could and freed himself from his shorts.

I excitedly curled up next to him and bent my head. I kissed the tip, then softly ran my tongue around before lowering my mouth onto him. I was so happy to have his cock in my mouth again. I massaged my tongue around him, while beginning to suck and move my head up and down his shaft.

I was very enthusiastic in my efforts, as I desperately wanted to make him come and taste him. Once I got a steady rhythm, I picked up my pace and suction. I could tell he was getting close, and I oh so desperately wanted to switch my rhythm and technique so that I could keep going, but getting him to orgasm was my goal. He said between breaths that he was close and I kept up exactly what I was doing. He started gently grinding his hips into my face. I followed his rhythm and kept going.

I finally heard the words I have been wanting to hear since we started dating. He was coming. He moaned the sexiest of moans and shortly after I felt his sweet, hot liquid shoot into my mouth. As his orgasm slowed down, I slowed down, making sure to clean every last drop. I swallowed easily and moved up to cuddle him some more. He held me, and we thanked each other.

“Now, how about we go find something for you to eat other than come?” he said jokingly.

I smiled and told him that I just had the breakfast of champions, full of protein. We giggled and cuddled some more before getting up to get dressed and starting the day.

A Test of Sorts

The boyfriend is gone for nearly a month, and after this weekend he will be pretty much off the grid for almost 2 weeks. He is on his summer vacation, visiting family and friends down south. I miss him terribly, and it gets harder every day.

We still manage to at least say good morning, but after that he usually gets busy and either doesn’t talk again til late evening or the next morning. Some nights we were able to Skype and play video games, which is nice, but just not the same.

I have been kind of looking at his absence as a test for if/when he moves and whether or not we continue things as a long distance couple. At this point, I feel like I care more for him than he does for me, but that is probably my low self esteem talking. He has a hard time opening up, which also makes me wonder how he really feels about me.

Without knowing how he feels, or what he sees with me in the future, I don’t think I could do long distance. I really hate to say that, and I hate the idea of having to move on (again) and learn to know someone all over again (though sometimes that can be half the fun). I just don’t want anyone else.

Even with the lack of sex in our relationship that I am fairly unhappy about, I love everything else. I love him and really want to see where this goes. I have been trying to stay positive, but it gets harder each day that it gets closer to our possible doom.

Its two weeks into his month long absence and its killing me. I hate it. I miss his kiss, and our cuddles.

Fantasy – Board Game Night

It’s board game night and I am sitting between the boyfriend and an old coworker I have a crush on. I finish my turn and lean back on the futon and close my eyes. I am horny and it has been a long day. The boyfriend leans back after his turn as well and puts his arm around my shoulders, his hand hovering over my breast.

Feeling bold, I rested my hand over his that was hovering and push down. He immediately got the hint and got a handful of tit before giving a few healthy gropes. I grinned and giggled and he did it once more before taking my hand in his. Closing my eyes again, I relax next to him.

I start to imagine a MMF threesome with the two men on either side of me. I think of them each taking a breast in their mouth and teasing my pierced nipples with their tongues. I then start thinking of our hosts, a couple and their roommate. How perfect would it be if we all just had an orgy right there in the middle of the living room.

I craved the feeling of having two mouths cover my body at the same time, no side left untouched. The boyfriend mirroring ex-coworker’s (ECW) moves and vice versa. I wanted them both right then and there. I picture them both getting up to stand in front of me. I see myself reaching to undress each of them, all the while our gracious hosts are getting to business behind the two sexy men before me. With determination and concentration, I manage to use one hand each to get their pants unbuttoned, unzipped, and cocks exposed at the same time.

At that thought I feel a flood of wetness flood my panties. I have always wanted to suck two dicks at once and this is finally my chance. I warp a hand around each of them and lean forward. I lower my mouth onto the boyfriend first. I start by kissing the tip of is cock before slowly taking it in my mouth inch by inch, all the while swirling my tongue. I get the boyfriend good and wet before switching to ECW’s cock and doing the same thing. I switch back and forth between the two beautiful cocks before me, only switching when one starts to sound like they are enjoying this a little bit too much.

I realize it’s my turn for the game, so I hastily make a move before leaning back into the futon. I picture the boyfriend slowly start to strip me and ECW joining in. Simultaneously we all switch positions. I lay myself across the futon and ECW gets between my legs while the boyfriend gets at the opposite end. The boyfriend positions himself to get himself back in my mouth. ECW has no trouble sliding his penis into my soaking wet pussy.

I clench my kegels at the thought, imagining the feeling of penetration, and seeing him thrust his body and begin to fuck me like I deserve to be fucked. ECW reaches to begin to rub my clit while the boyfriend reaches to fondle and tease my boobs.

Its my turn in the game again so I make a move and get back to fantasizing. The two guys decide to switch. ECW wants a blowjob and the boyfriend wants to fuck me. He gets between my legs and plunges his cock deep inside my cunt and I tighten around him. At that same time, ECW gets his cock in my face and I hungrily take him in my mouth.

I can tell the boyfriend is close and so I decide to try and make ECW lose his load at the same time. I give my best sucking, tongue swirling massage that I could manage at that awkward angle. I want them to come at the same time. The boyfriend is closer and tells me so. Just then ECW tells me he is close, almost like the boyfriend saying he was close was that trigger he needed to get over the edge. At that second, the boyfriend began his orgasm. Seeing the boyfriend hit his climax made ECW reach his.

Slowly I came back to reality. I made my turn in the game we were playing. I was losing horribly, but I was ok with it. I just imagined a very sexy fantasy.

 

Meeting the Family

The week before last his graduation finally came up in conversation. I told him I fully intended to go, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to go. He said he would like me there. I asked if I would be able to meet his family coming up and all he said was maybe.

Two days before the graduation he made it sound like he didn’t care if I was there, and I probably wouldn’t meet the family. Then he said I could maybe meet his mom, just not the others. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. For the most part I understood, but my low self confidence made it feel like it was me he didn’t want to introduce to them.

The day before on my way home from work I realized how heartbroken I really was in not being able to be involved in his graduation plans. I got the impression that even if I went to the ceremony I wouldn’t be able to see him at all. I was completely crushed at the idea of not being included on his big day. I admit that I started to get a little jealous of his family. I started to not feel that important to him, and eventually considered to not go at all. I knew if I didn’t go I would feel guilty . I also started crying at the idea of going and not being able to say hi. I felt like he was ashamed of me.

After a nearly sleepless night and sitting through my best friend’s graduation (there were several ceremonies that day) I texted him and asked if he wanted me there. He simply told me I could go. With lots of reservations, I made arrangements to get there. I picked a spot to enable myself to easily describe my location in a huge crown and texted him where I was. I started to cry, still under the assumption that I would not see him. I knew he was somewhere there, along with his family, and here I was alone trying to be supportive.

I had just wiped the last tears from my eyes, considering letting them start up again, when I realized someone was standing in front of me. With thoughts of annoyance at who was cutting in on what little privacy I had while I spilled my overreacting tears, I looked up to see him standing with a lady.

All thoughts of sadness escaped me as we hugged, kissed, and he introduced me to his mom. We shook hands and she asked me the obligatory questions any good mother would ask the chick her son is dating. Sadly it was a short visit since he had to go get ready with his graduating class. As she walked away, she told me how happy I made him.

From then on I felt much better about being there, and five minutes later I got a text thanking me for being there. After what seemed like ages, they finally called his name. About 20 minutes later I get the text I had been waiting forever for, asking if I wanted to join him and his family for dinner. He told me to meet him at his place and we would go from there.

I quickly got home and changed, making sure to put something on a little bit nicer. It was the moment I had been waiting for, and suddenly I was nervous. What if they didn’t like me?

It turned out that I had nothing to worry about. I met his mom, dad, stepmom, grandma, and several family friends. I fit in well. OUr dinner reservations were fairly late in the evening, so we ended up closing the restaurant. Eventually they started to plan breakfast and who was coming. His family was very insistent that I join.

I enjoyed getting to know them, and hope to see them again soon. I was glad that they seemed to like me.

Trying to Get Caught

I thought he would be on his way shortly. It was Saturday and my roommate was gone for the weekend. I unlocked the front door for him and texted him to let himself in. I got back in bed and grabbed my favorite toy. I hoped and fantasized about him walking in on me masturbating. I wondered how he would react, and what he would do or say.

Would he be into it? Or would it be a complete turn off to him? Would he even care? At this point it had been almost two months since we did anything naughty. I ashamedly admit that I was getting desperate.

I didn’t even need porn, I was so turned on at just the fantasy of him catching me, hopefully joining me. I had to edge for a bit, as it didn’t take me long to feel like I was going to climax. I hoped he would hurry.

I started thinking about whether or not I wanted to time my orgasm for when he walked in, or save it for when he was in the same room as me and realized what I was doing.

My thoughts got a bit darker then. What if the person to walk in was not him? Who would it be, and depending on who it was would I keep going?

Eventually I started to feel too good not to come. Since I was alone, I let my moans escape my throat. What if I moaned so loud someone heard and came to check on me? At the thought of anyone walking in at that point made me come even harder.

After my orgasm he texted that he was on his way. I thought about my poor timing and wondered if I should go for round two of trying to be caught. Unfortunately, at that point I lost my nerve and quickly got dressed and did one last clean up run through of my apartment.

Maybe I can gather the courage to try again next time. Next time I will wait for his text that he is on his way before I start to play.