Trying to Get Caught

I thought he would be on his way shortly. It was Saturday and my roommate was gone for the weekend. I unlocked the front door for him and texted him to let himself in. I got back in bed and grabbed my favorite toy. I hoped and fantasized about him walking in on me masturbating. I wondered how he would react, and what he would do or say.

Would he be into it? Or would it be a complete turn off to him? Would he even care? At this point it had been almost two months since we did anything naughty. I ashamedly admit that I was getting desperate.

I didn’t even need porn, I was so turned on at just the fantasy of him catching me, hopefully joining me. I had to edge for a bit, as it didn’t take me long to feel like I was going to climax. I hoped he would hurry.

I started thinking about whether or not I wanted to time my orgasm for when he walked in, or save it for when he was in the same room as me and realized what I was doing.

My thoughts got a bit darker then. What if the person to walk in was not him? Who would it be, and depending on who it was would I keep going?

Eventually I started to feel too good not to come. Since I was alone, I let my moans escape my throat. What if I moaned so loud someone heard and came to check on me? At the thought of anyone walking in at that point made me come even harder.

After my orgasm he texted that he was on his way. I thought about my poor timing and wondered if I should go for round two of trying to be caught. Unfortunately, at that point I lost my nerve and quickly got dressed and did one last clean up run through of my apartment.

Maybe I can gather the courage to try again next time. Next time I will wait for his text that he is on his way before I start to play.

Masturbation Woes

My masturbation count has sky rocketed. A combination of a returned sex drive after a long bout of depression finally lifted and having new toys to play with thanks to product reviews, I have had a lot to come to. With May being Masturbation Month, I have been particularly inspired to try for an orgasm (or more) a day. The more I masturbate, the more I find my mood lifting, making me want to masturbate more, craving orgasms.

Each toy gives me a different type of orgasm. Yes, they are all clitoral, but they have different depths to them. Mimi gives me long orgasms that sometimes leave a little bit to be desired (perhaps a cock inside)? The Womanizer gives me hard and deep orgasms, getting stronger the longer I let them go on. The Touch takes a little longer, but the strong and steady orgasm makes it worth the wait. Every day I think about the orgasm I plan to have. I wonder what kind of orgasm  would feel best for that moment.

So far the post doesn’t sound very woeful, I know. Don’t worry, I am getting there. The stories I have  are quite funny now, but they weren’t in the moment. In the moment they were quite depressing; woeful in many ways.

The other night I was craving Mimi. She was feeling pretty good, and I thought she had a decent charge since her vibrations were still pretty strong. I finally found a porn that was getting me pretty excited, build up for a big orgasm. I crossed the point of no return and let myself come. Right when I let go and the orgasm took over Mimi stopped cold. My orgasm sputtered out like a dying engine in a car. I laid there in silence for a second, taking in what just happened. Mimi died from a low battery, as toys usually do.

This wasn’t my first dead battery, but it was my first dead battery mid orgasm. It felt pretty awful in all honesty, both physically and mentally. Mentally I was revved up and ready to go, physically because it actually hurt. All that build up in my cunt and no release. It was peeing only a little bit and having to hold the rest.

After I gathered myself I reached for the Womanizer. I was gonna have this orgasm, I had to. I got to work and it was feeling good, even on my still sensitive clit. I felt myself about to squirt so I turned it off to make myself hold back. I wasn’t in the mood to sleep in a wet spot. Once my body was calmed down I turned the Womanizer back on. I was feeling good, feeling really close.

At that moment My cat jumped on my bed and required my immediate attention. I turned off my toy so that I could give him the attention he deserves. He curled up in my arms and fell asleep. I waited for him to wake up and move down to my feet.

I apparently fell asleep too, because I woke up when it was daylight, glasses still on, tablet (for porn) asleep at my side, Womanizer on the sheets between my legs and the cat at my feet. I had a sense of de ja vu and then realized that is exactly how I woke up the week before. So two weeks in a row I fell asleep masturbating. At least I managed to turn the toy off both times, unlike my college days where I burned out many cheap bullets that way.

Orgasm Count of 2016

My number is low this year, lower than any other since I started counting my orgasms. 

I finally have a way to keep track of them. Before, I would have an orgasm and then try to remember to update my counting widget. Now I just click my counter after every orgasm.

This year’s count is so low m9stly because I spent most of the year on an emotional roller coaster. I went through a depression that was worse than when I had my car accident in 2014. I figured out it was my (pill) birth control, which I immediately stopped taking. 

Once the depression lifted, my libido came back. I started dating and I masturbated even more. 

So, my final orgasm count for 2016 is 101. 

Because it Felt Good

I have been horny all week. i went off my birth control last month and my depression lifted, bringing back my sex drive in full force. i still masturbated, but only to have a sleep inducing orgasm. it felt ok, good enough to come, but it was never fantastic.

This morning I found out my plans got shattered for the day. i was bored and didn’t know what to do. I  have a date later tonight with H, but thats not until hours from now.

I thought about how turned on I have been. I got to thinking about the possibility of some sexy fun tonight after my date. I thought about how good my vibrator would feel on my clit.

I decided to masturbate. I figured my toy would die of a dead battery, so I wasn’t planning on an orgasm. I just wanted to feel good. I wanted to feel that pent up horniness all evening, letting it escalate so that when I got home I could take it on my date or my freshly charged toy.

As soon as I touched the soft silicone to my clit I was hooked. It felt amazing as I realized I was masturbating because it felt good, not just because I needed to fall out of sleep, or just pure habit to have an orgasm once a week.

I kept waiting for the vibration to die out, but it held strong. I started feeling close to climax and turned it off. Did i want the orgasm? of course I did, but not so soon. I was enjoying the unexplainable pleasure coursing through my body. I turned it back on with intent to finish what I started. 

I started thinking about possibly having a play partner for the night. I imagined how it would be. At what instance would I see his throbbing cock for the first time. Would he be cut or uncut? Would I get the urge to suck his dick? Would we manage to have sex? 

At the idea of him entering my dripping, wet, and achingly hungry for penetration pussy I started to feel close. I tightened my cunt, imagining him sliding in and me tightening around him. 

I felt the waves of pleasure take over my body. Pressing my vibrator into position on my clit, I moaned and rode out my orgasm in pure bliss. It felt so good.

The Worst Orgasm Ever

Last month I was horny and sex wasn’t an option. It probably won’t be for a while. I had full intentions of masturbating and being as loud as I wanted since I had no roommate home for the weekend.

I started off my playtime by talking to an old acquaintance and sort of having phone sex. We talked about how we would pleasure each other. I sent him a few pictures and I got a few from him. Honestly I wasn’t that into it so I let him finish and moved on.

I had a very sexy chat with a Twitter friend. We exchanged a few pictures and the anticipation really had me going. Too soon he had to go to bed, leaving me to concentrate on my orgasm.

I edged for a while. I got really worked up. Just as I was  hitting the point of no return, I swallowed wrong. I began to cough as I was orgasming. I literally started choking. I tried like hell to let my throat settle and have my highly anticipated orgasm.

I began to overheat, making me cough even more. I couldn’t breathe. My orgasm sputtered out like a single flame on a windy night. I continued to cough for another twenty minutes or so, struggling to catch my breath and clear my throat.

I was still horny and unsatisfied after that quarter orgasm. However, I had spent way too long on it, with the vibe on my clit that I was too sore and numb to try for a round two, even after I caught my breath and cleared my throat.

Getting My Squirt Back

I squirted when I had my first orgasm. Not only did I not know that what I had was an orgasm, I thought I had pissed all over my floor and computer chair. I started making sure to pee and empty my bladder before masturbating, but I got the same wet and messy results.

It wasn’t until I started reading blogs that I learned that squirting was a thing. I thought it was cool and rare that I could squirt just from clitoral stimulation. Most guys I talked to thought it was pretty sexy that I could squirt, though no one ever was around when I did it.

When I started dating Will, I brought up the topic of squirting. He was disgusted at the idea. I never told him that I could squirt. I stopped doing it all together when we moved in together, as I tended to soak the bed. I always knew when to stop my orgasm to prevent squirting.

When Will and I broke up I still couldn’t squirt. I was so used to not doing it that I could never push myself over that edge. It took three years to learn to squirt again. It was a joyous day when I finally did. It took just the right video. It didn’t take long for me to squirt almost every time I came.

When I got MiMi, I don’t squirt, I gush. I love it. I will never let a man (or anyone) control the way I come, ever again.

I Miss His Kiss

I have been thinking about J a lot. It has been nearly 4 months since we last hung out. I miss him. I miss the way he makes me feel, the way he touches me, his shyness and the way he asks for permission. Permission to touch me, permission to touch himself. It’s all so hot.

Strangely, I miss his kiss. He wasn’t my favorite person to kiss, but I didn’t hate kissing him either. I never wrote about it before, but he kisses rather awkwardly. The best way to describe it is like a chicken. He gives quick little pecks. It’s sweet, though at times I wanted more, deeper, passionate kisses. Damnit though, I miss the shy, timid way he kisses.

I thought about him last night while I masturbated. I thrust my hips into the air, humping my mattress. I desperately rubbed my bullet over my clit, pressing into me. I tightened my kegels muscles as I let out a loud moan, thinking his name over and over, looking at his dick pics on slideshow when my eyes weren’t closed in blissful concentration.

In the past, thinking about him and writing about our fun times has brought him back. As much as I love the idea of him coming back, I couldn’t handle him disappearing again.

Meeting MiMi

Friday night we had a girl’s night. It was tame compared to others, but we still had a blast. After work we all met up at my place. We then all climbed into a van and headed to a local sex toy shop. I had been on a mission to get the We-Vibe Tango, but after calling the night before I was informed that they didn’t carry it. I was more than a little miffed the day before, since the girl on the phone was kind of snotty, but I decided to make it a fun field trip.

I headed straight for the bullets. I didn’t see any that I liked. I went to the expensive display case and a cashier asked me if I had any questions. I whined about wanting the Tango, and asked if I could see how strong a certain bullet was. She asked me if I was looking for rumbley vibes and I said, “Yes!” She said to meet “MiMi” and pulled out a cute little clit vibe. She turned it on and turned it up for me, then handed it to me. I was in love, I admit. However, I was still hesitant since I still couldn’t get over the Tango. I played around with MiMi, loving the velvety silicone texture, the powerful vibes, and curious about the shape. It was like a flat bullet, thin and oval shaped, kind of like an egg.

I told the worker that I would think about it. When she put MiMi away and went to help someone else I pulled up and looked for reviews on MiMi. I liked what I read, but was still unsure. I walked around a bit, giving my friends advice on toys (one was going for a nasty jelly toy).

I went back to the display case and longed. I made my choice. I found a cashier and she got out a brand new boxed up MiMi for me. It cost me nearly 100 bucks, and I prayed she would be worth it.

When we got home I ran to my room and got MiMi to charging, we had pizza and drinks, played some Cards Against Humanity, and chatted. It was tame, there was no flashing or groping, as we had a new lady with us. Around 10 everyone was gone and I went to bed. MiMi was ready.

I only really liked the highest setting, and damn it felt good. Handling was a little awkward, but I finally got the sweet spot. I felt an orgasm come on, and it felt weak. However it continued, and built up. When I felt like it was almost over, I started to take the toy away from my clit, but couldn’t stop. I ended up pressing her closer to my clit, coming even harder. I squirted. I soaked my bed. It had been over a year since I soaked it that much. I couldn’t stop squirting, it felt so good.

Finally my clit got too sensitive and I had to remove MiMi. I liked the orgasm I had, but it was different than one I normally have with bullets. It was stronger in the way it lasted longer and how much I squirted, but it wasn’t as body shaking. I didn’t clench up as much as I normally do. That worries me a bit, but we shall see.

Meet MiMi, and click to see what she does to me.

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My new toys…

My new toys are fucking scary. They were bigger than I expected. If you haven’t been following my Twitter, I ordered the Tantus Cush and Flurry. I was so excited for them that I even held off on masturbating several nights in a row.

When I got home Thursday the package was on my bed. I tore it open, and my mouth dropped. How the hell am I going to put them inside me, especially the Cush. They will ruin me, especially if I end up using them a lot.

That night after my shower I got in bed and tried to insert the Flurry. It wasn’t happening. I just couldn’t get it in, and wetness wasn’t a problem. I finally shifted enough and was able to slide it part way in. It felt tight, and full, but not in a good way. It was almost uncomfortable.

I put my bullet on my clit and went to town, relaxing and getting wetter with each tiny circle. The Flurry was distracting, so I pulled it out and set it aside. Within minutes I came hard and fast, squirting too.

I figured I would wait a few minutes and then try for a round two, thinking that maybe I need more warmup and that the orgasm should help. Unfortunately, I passed out. Maybe next time. I am determined to be able to use that Cush.