My Views on Sex Over Time

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

4. How has your views of sex changed over time?

I used to be afraid of sex. I was uneducated about it, and all I knew was that sex lead to pregnancy and STD’s. I knew that it was for making babies, though I did not know it was for pleasure as well. I went from being afraid and grossed out by sex, to wanting it to be special. Something that I had on my wedding night.

I was technically raped the first time I had sex. I did not say yes. I told him as he entered me that that was not what we agreed on. All I got was “my bad” as he continued for 30 seconds before he came. I quit caring about sex being special after that. I am so glad that it didn’t scare me away from sex even more. Instead, it made me fear sex less, and explore my sexuality even more.

After what seemed like forever of having only “friends with benefits,” I finally experienced sex with a boyfriend. I fell in love with the idea of “special” sex all over again. I realized how much friends with benefits was just not for me. I loved the intimacy of being with a boyfriend, rather than just a friend.

After the boyfriend and I broke up, I turned back to friend with benefits. I felt like I would rather have no strings attached sex instead of no sex at all. My list nearly tripled since that first serious relationship that I had sex in. After looking at my list, I see that I have a 3:1 ratio; the 3 being casual sex, 1 being non-casual.

I went from being terrified of sex, mostly due to lack of education, to being in love with sex. I love the intimacy, the closeness, and the thrill. I have come a long way since the day I lost my “virginity.”

Sex and Growing Up

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

3. What were you taught about sex as you grew up? What did you not know that you needed to know?

I grew up extremely sheltered. I was made to believe that words like sex and condoms were bad words. I wasn’t explained what they were, just that they were inappropriate to talk about. I got the gist of my sex education from middle school health class. Luckily we got safe sex education, rather than abstinence only education.

I remember not getting the “sex talk” from my mother until I was almost in high school. We were driving home and a commercial for Viagra came on the radio. She acted offended, and surprisingly explained everything there in the car when I asked her what it meant. It wasn’t a very detailed talk, just that the male penis got hard, was inserted into the vagina, sperm came out, and fertilized an egg.

One time in high school I asked my mother what an orgasm was. Her response was a little horrifying. She said it was when a man shot his sperm. I find that answer very sad and uneducated. A few months ago I asked her why she gave that as her answer, and she admitted to only having one or two in her life.

I didn’t know what a clitoris was or where until I was almost 18. It was when my sister came home drunk and drew me a diagram when I asked. What prompted it was when she asked how I liked the toy her and my mom’s friend got me for prom. I had admitted that it was kind of ok, I just didn’t know what to do with it. She explained where I needed to focus my vibrations, but I was clueless. So, she drew me a map on a napkin. The next night I took her advice and had my first orgasm.

I wish my parents had been more open and honest about sex. I appreciate that I got safe sex education, but I wish they had been a little bit less shaming about it. I wish they didn’t make it seem scary, or that it was a bad thing. They could have taught me, rather than make me terrified of it. I wish I knew more so that at school I wasn’t the only kid on the playground that didn’t know where babies. came from.

Thirst

We might have had a little bit too much wine, and I had to work the next morning. I didn’t care, and figured I could catch up on sleep the next night. All I wanted was to enjoy a night in with Andy. 

I cooked him dinner and we watched B-rated horror movies on netflix. The movies were terrible, but we had a blast adding our own commentary to the films. 

The first bottle of wine was drained fast. He convinced me to open the other. We drank that even faster. At one point my hand began resting on the crotch of his pants. I began to rub, feeling his hardness grow immediately. He inquired about my roommate being home, and I quickly shrugged it off. I could behave if she came out of her room, though I was pretty certain she would make herself scarce.

Eventually my hand worked itself into his shorts and I got a nice grip on his shaft. I twirled my index finger around the head, lingering on the frenulum where I did small, light circles. 

With his right arm around my shoulders and his left hand gently stroking my face and hand, I somehow manuevered my mouth onto his thumb. I began treating it like I would his cock; swirling, sucking, and massaging it with my tongue. His moans were steadily getting louder. 

Unable to take the teasing, he removed his thumb from my mouth and reached down to unzip. His cock was finally free, so I lowered my head and started by kissing his head. Slowly I lowered my mouth, covering the whole head. Swirling my tongue and sucking, I began to bob my head up and down. I had a terrible angle, so I was only able to attend to his head. 

I don’t remember much (or most) of the movie, but I do remember telling him at one point that the movie needed to end so we could go to my room. I don’t remember if we finished the movie, but eventually we landed in my room. 

After shutting the door, I flipped back the top blanket and walked around to the side that gives me the best cock sucking angle. By the time I got to my side, he was on my bed naked and waiting. 

To be continued…

From Baby Steps to Doing it All

I made sure to get off work early so that I had sufficient time to get ready for Andy to come over for dinner. I did some last minute cleaning and a quick shower before I started on dinner. I started to get a little concerned when I hadn’t heard from him by the time dinner was just about done. Finally he texted, but after the time we had scheduled. He over slept and was on his way.

After driving to 3 different places for wine, he finally showed up 2 hours later. I would have been annoyed, but I was just glad he didn’t cancel like everyone else would have. We watched some of the anime he loaned me while we ate. Eventually my roommate came out to cook her dinner, but thankfully kept to herself. After she was done cooking, she left us to go to her friend’s.

We finished the anime and decided to go play my Super Nintendo. We chose Donkey Kong, one of our child hood favorites. We  did pretty good at first, but the wine snuck up on us and we kept dying. After dying for what felt like the twentieth time on my favorite level, I tossed the remote aside and leaned over him smiling. I leaned a little closer and we kissed. One kiss turned into three, then I lost count as we began to make out.

The background music of the game got irritating after a while, so we stopped kissing long enough to turn it off. As soon as it was off, we went right back to kissing, this time clothing was getting removed. There was a lot of heavy petting, and eventually he was delighted to have found my nipple piercings.

Soon we were naked and I told him where my condoms were, as he had my pinned down. The sex was good and hot. It was rough than I had ever experienced, but I found it thrilling and exciting. My chest and neck are covered in hickeys and bruises, a nice reminder of the other night.

After sex, we hopped in the shower and rinsed off our sweaty and hot bodies. We kissed and nibbled some more.

Once out of the shower we got dressed and cuddled on my bed talking. I gathered up the courage and asked what we were, asking if he considered us boyfriend and girlfriend. I was happy to hear him say yes, that neither of us do friends with benefits.

I was up 24 hours by the time I got in bed that morning, but it was well worth it. The next night I hung out at his place for a few hours before he had to go to bed. He cooked dinner again and we had some fresh brownies. I probably won’t see him until after this is posted. I am excited to see where this goes.

Taking Him Home

“I want to take you home with me, but I am not sure if I am ready to have sex yet,” I told H in the crowded karaoke bar. We were on the date I mentioned in my previous post. I was horny, but not quite sure how far I wanted to go with him.

“That is perfectly fine. We can do whatever you are comfortable with,” he responded.

“I definitely want to cuddle and kiss. I want to do it in my bed though,” I admitted.

“We can totally do that,” he said.

As the karaoke wrapped up, I made my final decision to take him home with me. We snuck in quietly so as not to disturb my sleeping roommate. Once we were both settled in my room after taking turns doing our business in the bathrooms, we took off our shoes and cuddled on the bed.

We kissed and felt around each others clothed bodies. Eventually our shirts and my bra came off. He moaned in pure bliss as I scratched my nails down his back. After a while, my hands travelled to the bulge in his jeans. I rubbed his hardness, imagining how it looked outside of his pants.

“Do you want to touch it?” he asked, in almost a pleading tone.

“I am touching it,” I said in a very playful tone and a huge grin on my face, already teasing the waistband above his cock.

“No, I mean touch it without the pants in the way,” he said, not catching my joke.

I reached for the button of his jeans, but he beat me to it. I moved my hand so that his cock could escape the confines of his pants. As soon as it was free, I wrapped my hand around it and felt it pulse in my hand.

He finished taking off his pants and I wriggled out of mine. We situated ourselves back on the bed and heavy petting ensued. I rubbed his cock with enthusiasm as he fingered his way around my pussy. He was amazed at how soaking wet I was, even asking if I came a few times. I had to tell him I had never came from anything but a vibrator. He was disappointed, but finally accepted the fact, though trying to convince me to get my toy.

It was 4 in the morning when we finally decided to get some sleep. As we were laying there cuddling after the light was turned off I made a comment. I forgot the wording, but it implied that I wanted sex. Immediately he perked up and asked if I wanted to. I said yes, but I thought he wanted to sleep.

“That was before I knew we could have sex,” he said as he moved his body between my legs. I parted my legs and he began teasing my hungry cunt with his still hard cock. I lifted my hips to try and get him to slide in, but he stayed outside. When I was finally begging for hit he slid in easily.

I immediately flexed my kegel muscles around him. His thrusts started slow, but the quickly picked up. He found a nice rhythm of when his cock went deep I squeezed, letting go as he pulled back, and so forth. Damn he felt good.

He pulled back a little further and got my right leg over his shoulder, allowing him more depth. He wanted to go deeper so we folded up a pillow and slid it under my ass. Soon after he was coming hard and fast.

We fell asleep cuddling after he came back from cleaning up. When we woke up 6 hours later we had another go round at the sex. He was determined to make me orgasm, but it just wasn’t happening. My pussy was starting to feel sore anyways, since it wasn’t used to so much attention.

For most of the day way talked, cuddled and kissed. I kept saying we should get up and start the day. I had to get him home at some point, but neither of us wanted to leave the comfort of my bed and each other.

Finally in the mid afternoon we decided to get up, but not before one last quick fuck. He felt amazing as usual, but my pussy had finally had enough and was just too sore. We grudgingly got dressed and went for a bite to eat of late lunch/early dinner.

 

Birthday Tease

After spending some time cuddling on his couch, we figured it was time to go for a dip. Once inside the hot tub house we stripped off all of our clothes. J got in first and I followed, taking his hand for support as I lowered myself in.

He floated over to the opposite side and I followed, sitting next to him. Using my right hand to keep myself somewhat still (as the water made me so buoyant), I wrapped my left hand around his already hard cock.

With a grin on my face I moved my hand up and down his length, my cunt tingling and clenching in needy anticipation. I leaned up and started kissing his neck, giving little nibbles and light sucks, then moving up to his lips where he kissed me back.

Letting go of his cock for the moment, I shifted my body so that I was straddling his lap, just as I had always fantasized. I kept up with the kisses, but this time grinding my pussy on his cock, feeling myself tingle with need with each poke of his cock.

With one arm wrapped around him for support, I used my free hand to spread my lips so that his cock could rub my clit. My muscles clenched even tighter, imagining his cock entering me for the first time in what was way too long.

He then sat up and set me on the hot tub bench and positioned himself in front of me. With the ledge supporting my neck, I wrapped my legs around him, his cock poking between between us. I loosened my grip and wiggled my hips so that his cock rested on my opening.

With one thrust he was inside me and my body relaxed around him. One pump and I gave him a squeeze. As he pulled back, I loosened my pussy grip. With his second thrust I held onto him again. One last third pump and he pulled himself out.

We kissed some more, while I said under my breath how good his cock felt inside me. Too soon we were both too hot to continue our play, so we got out and dried off. It may have just a tease, but it was just enough to give us that intimacy we desired, while being careful of being caught.

Pure Pleasure

The episode ended and we stayed there in each other’s arms. Neither of us wanted to get up to push play for the next episode. Throughout the show we had been slowly stripping each other until he was only in his thong, and I in my favorite red lingerie and panties.

I smiled with content, letting my hand travel all over him, still learning his body. I slid my hands lower, brushing his cock and feeling it twitch to alertness. I kept my hand in that area, rubbing him through the fabric of his thong. I gently cupped the balls and let my hand slide up the length of his growing hardness, circling my finger around the head and back down.

“Are you sure you want to do this tonight?” he asked carefully.

“Yes,” I said simply. I had thought about it very hard, and decided to live in the moment, taking what I could before he moved away. “Do you?” I asked even more cautiously, afraid of what his answer might be.

“I do, but I really want to wait, save it for when you come visit me in the new place,” he answered just as hesitantly.

“Who knows when that will be? Besides, even if we don’t have sex, we can do other things,” I answered desperately.

“Oh, very true, there are other things,” he said as he smiled and sat up. He shifted himself so that he now faced me in all my half naked glory.

He started running his hand all over my body, up and down my stomach, around my arms, and stopping at my breasts. He bent his head down and took my right nipple into his mouth, sticking and nibbling. He bit a little bit harder and I moaned halfway between pleasure and pain.

“Ahhh you’re a biter,” I said under my breath. “That feels good,” I said in encouragement.

He continued suckling on my right breast while his hand played with my other boob.

After a while he sat up and moved between my legs. I eagerly spread them and he asked me to take off my panties. I lifted my hips and he helped me slide them off.

He began by tracing my outer lips. He let his finger just barely slide between them to gather my wetness and moved it near my clit. He started rubbing in slow, small circles, barely grazing my clit, but stimulating it all the same.

My hips began to naturally rock against him, my kegels clinching and releasing in anticipation of needing to be filled. He kept up with the gentle circles for a good long while, his touch light enough to make me crave more, but not so rough that I get overstimulated. Every so often his finger would slide toward my opening, and when he did I lifted my hips into his hand, trying to take in his finger. I was going nuts (in every good way imaginable). I need him inside. I hinted without actually saying so.

“Every time you slide your finger down I keep waiting for you to slip it inside,” I said breathlessly. He had me panting and moaning in pure pleasure. He kind of chuckled to himself as he slid his finger inside my dripping wet pussy.

Immediately I clenched around him, making myself even tighter. I lifted my hips to try to take in more. He began a very rhythmic thrusting with his enveloped fingers and light circles on my clit. My whole body melted into him.

He kept a steady rhythm while finger fucking me. Out of the blue he asked the question I thought he would never ask.

“Do you want me to fuck you doggy style,”

“Yes, please,” I answered giddily.

I was sitting up and grabbing the condoms as soon as my pussy was free. I grabbed the first one from the bag and unwrapped it. I found the correct way to unroll it and began to place it on his throbbing cock. I got the condom past the head and it quit rolling. I started fumbling from my rustiness. He took it over and had trouble himself. We thought maybe it was inside out after all. He took it off to find it wasn’t.

We grabbed another one and tried again with much better success. My doggy style experience lacked. I asked him the best way for me to get. He suggested piling the pillows under my stomach to lift my ass up. I did just that and we had the usual (fun) awkwardness to get inside me that first time, learning how our bodies fit together.

I was so wet that he slid in easily. He took a firm hold of my hips and began to ride me. I grabbed onto the headboard bars. With each thrust I felt the pleasure flow through my entire body. He rode me good and hard. I needed it. His cock fit me like a dream.

“Oh, you’re cock feels so good inside me,” I told him between gasps of pleasure.

In between thrusts he managed a few light spanks across my ass, deepening my please.

“I’m gonna come,” he said under his breath.

His thrusts eventually got deeper and slower. I tightened my kegels around his penis and could feel the pulsating rush of his orgasm and I pulsed with him. We collapsed in a sweaty pool on my bed before we went to go clean up.

Six Years Ago

Six years ago today I lost my “technical” virginity. I say technical because i had done pretty much everything except have a penis inside my vagina. Before it happened, I wanted it to be with someone special, especially if it could be on my wedding night.

During the 30 seconds of humiliation, I was confused, angry, and curious. I was confused because I wasn’t expecting it. I had told him PIV was against my rules for us playing together. I was angry because all he said was “My bad,” and kept going. I was curious because I had always wondered what it would be like.

Looking back on that day, I have changed a lot. I am a lot more carefree about sex. As much as I hate how he did that against my wishes, I don’t regret it. It opened so many doors and experiences that I would have no clue about if I had stayed a virgin. As much as I hate that it was him, I am also kind of glad it wasn’t someone special. If it was someone special, there would have been attachment.

I did the rape debate. Some days I felt like it was rape, because he knew that wasn’t what I wanted, and even though I didn’t tell him to stop, the meaning was there when I told him “wrong hole.” Other days, I didn’t feel like it could be rape. I didn’t say no. I didn’t try and stop him. I let him do his thing because I was curious.

When it all comes down to it, I am glad it happened. I wasn’t glad at the time, but I try and not live in regrets. It opened my eyes. Nothing bad happened from having sex. It opened so many fun opportunities and fun experiences.

I have changed a lot in six years. I grew, and learned some very important lessons. It also feels like it has been more than six years since my life changed forever.

Raw Lust

**Yesterday’s post was very unsexy, I know, but I needed to say it. If you are still reading my stuff, I am glad to know that I haven’t scared you off. As a treat, here’s a bit of erotica, a true story about probably the only time I felt truly wanted by my last ex.**

I was topless in the living room with his topless roommate. We were feeling up each other’s tits, massaging each other. I made him sit back and watch. I knew he wanted in, but he wasn’t allowed, that was my rule.

He couldn’t take it anymore and said it was bedtime. He pulled me off the couch and shoved me into his room, shutting the door roughly. He nearly ripped off my clothes as he pushed me into the bed and stripped his clothes off.

My cunt was dripping with excitement. This was the first time I didn’t initiate the sex, the first I felt raw lust. It was the first time I truly felt wanted, even needed by him.

Once we were all undressed (in a manner of seconds), he climbed on top of me and stuck his dick into me. I clenched my kegels hard around his stiffness. He took that as a challenge and trusted deeper than ever before.

It didn’t take long for him to start pounding my pussy, hard and fast. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pushing him in, holding him captive inside me.

He broke free and continued to fuck me, hard, like the little slut that I am. I started talking dirty and he lost all control, shooting his load inside me.

Sweet Awakening (The End of a Dry Spell)

Last week September, I had just gotten in bed and was just settling down for sleep when I got a text. It was from D and I hadn’t heard from him in over a year. He asked me how I had been and I told him that I was ok, just been having a lot of ups and downs. When I asked how he was, he said that his girlfriend and him had just broke up and he needed a friend to hang out with.

We made plans for him to come over that afternoon, with me texting him directions. When he came over, we went to my bed and sat down to catch up on the last year. I told him it had been one year, one month, and eighteen days since I last had sex, which was with him. He was shocked and I explained my thoughts and theories on the situation.

Eventually we were done catching up and it got kind of quiet. I remembered my tattoo and said, “Ooo, I got a tattoo.” He asked where and I pointed to my right shoulder blade. He told me to take off my shirt so he could see. I was feeling a little bit shy, so I only adjusted my shirt to make the tattoo visible.

When he saw it, he wrapped his arms around me and starting kissing and nibbling my neck. I turned around to face him and we embraced each other in a hug and started to make out. I swear I forgot how to kiss. I felt so unsure of myself and hesitant, so afraid of being too sloppy.

Before things got too heavy, I opened up my top dresser drawer and pulled out my condom bag. I set it down and went back to kissing D. He pulled me back towards the bed and laid me down, kissing me all over. His hands wandered toward my tits, massaging my breasts. He got between me, spreading my legs open and started rubbing my legs, kissing and nibbling all over.

He reached up and undid my button and zipper. I lifted my hips and he pulled my pants off. He left my panties on for a minute and started rubbing my pussy through them. He then slipped a finger inside and rubbed my wetness all over my now dripping cunt.

The panties didn’t stay on long. Before I knew it, he was between my legs, expertly licking my clit. It was a nice surprise, since he has never done that with me before. It felt good, very relaxing. He did this for a good five minutes, then pulled his face up to lean up and kiss me some more.

He stood up and walked over to where my face was on the bed. “I am sorry to be so forward,” he said, as he whipped out his massive hard cock and brought it to my mouth.

I may have felt rusty when it came to my kissing, but taking his dick in my mouth came naturally. It was like riding a bike. Once you learn you never forget. I pulled his foreskin down a bit and lightly circled my tongue around his cock. Once I got his head nice and wet, I lowered my lips down and slid him inside inch my inch, all the while swirling my tongue around him.

I slowly bobbed my head up and down until I got a good rhythm and picked up the pace. I massaged with my tongue while I sucked, taking his cock in and out of my mouth. I got so wet hearing his moans, hearing him tell me how much he missed my mouth and my expert tongue.

Unfortunately, my jaw was badly out of practice and it only took a few minutes for my jaw to cramp up and lock. I was sad to have to stop so soon. I sat up and took his cock by hand and started jacking him off. He leaned down and kissed me some more. He leaned me back and stripped. While he did I sat up to grab the condoms.

I took one out and unwrapped it, slowly and carefully guiding it up his cock, making sure to leave room at the top for a reservoir  tip. I leaned back and he got between my legs. He grabbed his cock and moved towards my slit with it, collecting my juices and moving them up to my clit. He rubbed my clit with the tip of his cock, getting it nice and wet.

When he finally slid in, I gasped. After not having sex in so long, my pussy was so tight. Luckily I was wet enough that there were no complications. He slowly slid in and out, until he had a good rhythm. Once he had a good rhythm, he pounded my pussy hard. I cannot tell you how good he felt.

When he felt close he would slow down and kiss me. Once he calmed down he would go back to fucking me hard. I wrapped my legs around him, trying to get him to fill me more. I moaned and scratched my fingernails down his back.

Eventually, my sweet pussy got the best of him and he told me he was cumming. I muttered some explicit things, telling him to fill me, to cum for me. He came for me, and it was great.

We cleaned ourselves up and chatted for a bit longer. Sadly I had to get a nap before work, so he went home. I don’t think I slept, but it was well worth it. That day was a sweet awakening to getting my sexy back.