My Views on Sex Over Time

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

4. How has your views of sex changed over time?

I used to be afraid of sex. I was uneducated about it, and all I knew was that sex lead to pregnancy and STD’s. I knew that it was for making babies, though I did not know it was for pleasure as well. I went from being afraid and grossed out by sex, to wanting it to be special. Something that I had on my wedding night.

I was technically raped the first time I had sex. I did not say yes. I told him as he entered me that that was not what we agreed on. All I got was “my bad” as he continued for 30 seconds before he came. I quit caring about sex being special after that. I am so glad that it didn’t scare me away from sex even more. Instead, it made me fear sex less, and explore my sexuality even more.

After what seemed like forever of having only “friends with benefits,” I finally experienced sex with a boyfriend. I fell in love with the idea of “special” sex all over again. I realized how much friends with benefits was just not for me. I loved the intimacy of being with a boyfriend, rather than just a friend.

After the boyfriend and I broke up, I turned back to friend with benefits. I felt like I would rather have no strings attached sex instead of no sex at all. My list nearly tripled since that first serious relationship that I had sex in. After looking at my list, I see that I have a 3:1 ratio; the 3 being casual sex, 1 being non-casual.

I went from being terrified of sex, mostly due to lack of education, to being in love with sex. I love the intimacy, the closeness, and the thrill. I have come a long way since the day I lost my “virginity.”

Sex and Growing Up

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

3. What were you taught about sex as you grew up? What did you not know that you needed to know?

I grew up extremely sheltered. I was made to believe that words like sex and condoms were bad words. I wasn’t explained what they were, just that they were inappropriate to talk about. I got the gist of my sex education from middle school health class. Luckily we got safe sex education, rather than abstinence only education.

I remember not getting the “sex talk” from my mother until I was almost in high school. We were driving home and a commercial for Viagra came on the radio. She acted offended, and surprisingly explained everything there in the car when I asked her what it meant. It wasn’t a very detailed talk, just that the male penis got hard, was inserted into the vagina, sperm came out, and fertilized an egg.

One time in high school I asked my mother what an orgasm was. Her response was a little horrifying. She said it was when a man shot his sperm. I find that answer very sad and uneducated. A few months ago I asked her why she gave that as her answer, and she admitted to only having one or two in her life.

I didn’t know what a clitoris was or where until I was almost 18. It was when my sister came home drunk and drew me a diagram when I asked. What prompted it was when she asked how I liked the toy her and my mom’s friend got me for prom. I had admitted that it was kind of ok, I just didn’t know what to do with it. She explained where I needed to focus my vibrations, but I was clueless. So, she drew me a map on a napkin. The next night I took her advice and had my first orgasm.

I wish my parents had been more open and honest about sex. I appreciate that I got safe sex education, but I wish they had been a little bit less shaming about it. I wish they didn’t make it seem scary, or that it was a bad thing. They could have taught me, rather than make me terrified of it. I wish I knew more so that at school I wasn’t the only kid on the playground that didn’t know where babies. came from.

My Last Sexual Experience

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

2. Write about your last sexual experience. How was it different from your first sexual experience?

My last sexual experience was over two months ago. Andy came over and I cooked us dinner while we watched B-rated horror movies on Netflix. I wrote about it in stronger detail in the above link. We have been going through a bit of a dry spell at the moment. He has been busy with school, so he hasn’t been too focused on sex.

Anyways, to answer the question, there are a lot of differences between my first and last experiences. Back then I had no idea what I was doing. Now, I know exactly what I am doing and love to prolong my technique. I definitely have more experience and knowledge about sex and masturbation. I don’t feel as guilty after sexy encounters.

Both first and last encounters are different because of the partner. The partner I am currently with took things a lot slower than the first. The first shared many firsts with me, where my last and I don’t have very many firsts together, if any. In a way my first encounter was more special, but my last was way hotter. Both memories are fuzzy though, one was just because it was over 10 years ago, the other because I had consumed a lot of alcohol beforehand.

My First Sexual Experience

**I have been trying to keep up the habit of writing and posting every day. I ran out of things to review and my sex life has been a bit lacking, so I googled “sex blog writing prompts.” I came across a set of 10 questions and prompts that pertain to sex.**

1. Write about your first sexual experiences. Interpret sexual experience any way like, even it’s about you first kiss.

I only really briefly mentioned my first true sexual experience. I have written about my first high school make out sessions where the guy hinted about the boner he popped, but due to my lack of sexual knowledge, I got very uncomfortable. I will do my best in relaying the full details, but they are pretty fuzzy.

The first time that I remember getting sexual with a partner was my first year in college. I met a guy in my human sexuality class that I really hit it off with. We began hanging out and chatting every night on Yahoo Messenger, and even playing an online game together.

We took turns riding the bus to each other’s homes. One day we walked from the bus stop to my place in the pouring rain. We were drenched by the time we got inside. To dry off a little quicker, we removed some clothing to hang up in my room to dry.

I believe we got down to our underwear. I know for a fact that we started cuddling and making out. His boner became very obvious. I asked if I could see it, since we were in the human anatomy section of our class. He pulled down his tighty whities and let his cock free. I looked at it and gently started to touch it. I started naming the parts in my head (the corona, the frenulum, the shaft, etc).

He asked me if I wanted to kiss it. I said yes as I leaned my head down and kissed the very tip. He asked me to kiss a little more, and I slowly began to kiss up and down his shaft and head. I got curious, and a kiss on the head turned into me taking the tip into my mouth. I experimented with a little suck before slowly taking in more of his cock.

I knew I was doing a good job when I heard the moans and gasps of pleasure escape his mouth. I started to think about everything I had ever read about performing fellatio and began doing everything I had ever imagined. He was fully consumed by the pleasure I was giving him. I made myself quicken up, since I knew I had to go soon. I had a ride picking me up to help with a small job.

Luckily he didn’t take long to come, and I swallowed because I didn’t know what else to do. We finished dressed right as my ride texted that they were outside.

Afterwards, I felt many things. I was very turned on, that was obvious, but I was also feeling guilty. I grew up sheltered, and thinking sex and nudity were wrong. I kept feeling like something bad was going to happen to him after he left. It was still very stormy when we had to leave. My guilt and anxiety went down a lot once he texted that he was home.

Punny

The other night while playing video games with the boyfriend I was having some difficulty fighting a “bad guy.” He commented that my attacks would work better if I hit from behind. I made a comment about the “bad guy” taking it up the ass.

From there the conversation turned to anal and I mentioned that my experience with it was….terrible. I then started laughing like a maniac because the word I almost used was “shitty.” I then told him what I was about to say.

We both had a good laugh at my terrible pun.

Preparation

I came to the realization the other day that everyone I have ever dated has prepared me for Andy. So far Andy is my favorite boyfriend That I have ever had, the best one I ever dated, etc.

The biggest example I can think of is J. Andy and J are similar in the fact that they both have major ups and downs. The only difference is that Andy hasn’t done anything to disappoint me (knock on wood). J was infamous for flaking on all the time, however, Andy has only had to cancel once, and that was due to homework. School comes first, I get it. Totally excusable. J just flaked because he could, didn’t care how I felt, etc.They both have severe mood swings, and I saw the worst of J. In the end I realized he was controlling in his passive aggressiveness. I have yet to see the darker side of Andy, granted, but I know it is there and feel prepared in how to deal thanks to my experience with J.,

Another example would be Will. If I hadn’t had the experience of slow moving Will, I would have given up on Andy way too soon. Yes, there were many mixed signals, but mostly good ones that kept me encouraged to keep pursuing Andy.

As far as Lee goes, Andy graduates next semester. Lee left easily, without looking back. I know that a lot can happen in 5 or 6 months, but in that time Andy will be graduating. I have been having to think about whether I could drop everything and move (if that’s what his future prospects require him to do, or if I could handle long distance, or if we even need to break things off.

As far as H goes, he broke down my most recent wall. I was made vulnerable again, allowing myself to open up to Andy enough to let him in and in the end take the next step of boyfriend and girlfriend.

There were many others in between, but those are the ones with the most significant impact on me, allowing me to be ready for everything that Andy has to offer, plus so much more.The good, the bad, and the ugly.

From Baby Steps to Doing it All

I made sure to get off work early so that I had sufficient time to get ready for Andy to come over for dinner. I did some last minute cleaning and a quick shower before I started on dinner. I started to get a little concerned when I hadn’t heard from him by the time dinner was just about done. Finally he texted, but after the time we had scheduled. He over slept and was on his way.

After driving to 3 different places for wine, he finally showed up 2 hours later. I would have been annoyed, but I was just glad he didn’t cancel like everyone else would have. We watched some of the anime he loaned me while we ate. Eventually my roommate came out to cook her dinner, but thankfully kept to herself. After she was done cooking, she left us to go to her friend’s.

We finished the anime and decided to go play my Super Nintendo. We chose Donkey Kong, one of our child hood favorites. We  did pretty good at first, but the wine snuck up on us and we kept dying. After dying for what felt like the twentieth time on my favorite level, I tossed the remote aside and leaned over him smiling. I leaned a little closer and we kissed. One kiss turned into three, then I lost count as we began to make out.

The background music of the game got irritating after a while, so we stopped kissing long enough to turn it off. As soon as it was off, we went right back to kissing, this time clothing was getting removed. There was a lot of heavy petting, and eventually he was delighted to have found my nipple piercings.

Soon we were naked and I told him where my condoms were, as he had my pinned down. The sex was good and hot. It was rough than I had ever experienced, but I found it thrilling and exciting. My chest and neck are covered in hickeys and bruises, a nice reminder of the other night.

After sex, we hopped in the shower and rinsed off our sweaty and hot bodies. We kissed and nibbled some more.

Once out of the shower we got dressed and cuddled on my bed talking. I gathered up the courage and asked what we were, asking if he considered us boyfriend and girlfriend. I was happy to hear him say yes, that neither of us do friends with benefits.

I was up 24 hours by the time I got in bed that morning, but it was well worth it. The next night I hung out at his place for a few hours before he had to go to bed. He cooked dinner again and we had some fresh brownies. I probably won’t see him until after this is posted. I am excited to see where this goes.

Moving Forward with Andy

It was almost a month before I could have another date with Andy since he went out of town for winter break. We texted every day though, some days more text than others. Before he came back we made plans for our next date on a day he was free.

The plan was for him to cook me dinner and for us to go see a movie. All day my mind was running marathons, wondering what would happen. Things felt slow, but steady with him. I had too much time to get ready, so my mind was filled with all different scenarios. In the end, I wouldn’t have done anything differently; it was perfect.

He cooked me spicy spaghetti that was delicious. We watched a bit of TV before we left for the movie. I was greatly relieved when he asked if he could drive us to the movies. I suck at night driving, and he knew the area better than I. Plus, the song “Passenger Seat” had been going through my head all week.

Partway through the movie I managed to slide my hand down towards his, but he didn’t seem to take the bait so I went back to keeping my hand to myself. I gave it another 10 minutes and slid my hand down again. This time he had his hand waiting, and took mine in his. We sat through the rest of the movie holding hands, and even through most of the credits. Once the credits came on we started talking about the movie, our favorite parts, etc. Towards the end of the credits we finally let go and stood up to stretch.

Once back in his car, he asked if I wanted to come inside to visit some more. I eagerly accepted, not caring that I had to be up for work in 8 hours. We watched more TV and chatted. Finally at midnight he said it was his bedtime. He walked me to my car, and we hugged goodbye. At the end of the hug he pulled back, looking in my eyes smiling. As I smiled back, he leaned down and kissed me the softest, sweetest kiss. Too soon the hug broke off and I got in my car.  We had plans to hang out that coming Saturday, this time it was my turn to cook dinner.

The Ending of H

Several times H and I tried to make plans, but they always fell through as he just could not would not make time for me. Because I have been flaked on so many times in my dating career, I moved on pretty fast. I was kind of annoyed that we had sex and haven’t seen each other since, but no regrets. It was good after all.

On New Year’s Eve he called me and asked if I had plans. Of course I did, I had plans to go with a coworker and her mom to play card games, drink, and watch the ball drop. H was pretty disappointed that I was busy, but the conversation was short because my friend showed up as I answered the phone.

After I got home, H was on messenger. We chatted, and he was still bummed we couldn’t hang. I told him it was for the best, and he didn’t understand why. I laid it all out for him, telling him how inconsistent he was, and that I needed someone that could would make time for me. He understood, but didn’t like it.

He claimed to feel like we were becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. I quickly reminded him that he kept going back and forth on that sentiment. He agreed and apologized again. He claimed that he just didn’t have the time to be a proper boyfriend, etc.

In the end, we agreed on being friends until he decided he had the time. I made it clear that I wasn’t going to wait around for him, that I fully intended to date and see where my heart lead me. We haven’t talked all that much, and to be completely honest, I am ok with that.

Because it Felt Good

I have been horny all week. i went off my birth control last month and my depression lifted, bringing back my sex drive in full force. i still masturbated, but only to have a sleep inducing orgasm. it felt ok, good enough to come, but it was never fantastic.

This morning I found out my plans got shattered for the day. i was bored and didn’t know what to do. I  have a date later tonight with H, but thats not until hours from now.

I thought about how turned on I have been. I got to thinking about the possibility of some sexy fun tonight after my date. I thought about how good my vibrator would feel on my clit.

I decided to masturbate. I figured my toy would die of a dead battery, so I wasn’t planning on an orgasm. I just wanted to feel good. I wanted to feel that pent up horniness all evening, letting it escalate so that when I got home I could take it on my date or my freshly charged toy.

As soon as I touched the soft silicone to my clit I was hooked. It felt amazing as I realized I was masturbating because it felt good, not just because I needed to fall out of sleep, or just pure habit to have an orgasm once a week.

I kept waiting for the vibration to die out, but it held strong. I started feeling close to climax and turned it off. Did i want the orgasm? of course I did, but not so soon. I was enjoying the unexplainable pleasure coursing through my body. I turned it back on with intent to finish what I started. 

I started thinking about possibly having a play partner for the night. I imagined how it would be. At what instance would I see his throbbing cock for the first time. Would he be cut or uncut? Would I get the urge to suck his dick? Would we manage to have sex? 

At the idea of him entering my dripping, wet, and achingly hungry for penetration pussy I started to feel close. I tightened my cunt, imagining him sliding in and me tightening around him. 

I felt the waves of pleasure take over my body. Pressing my vibrator into position on my clit, I moaned and rode out my orgasm in pure bliss. It felt so good.