Dreams – Part 2

So, after I talked to my coworker about him repiercing my nipples I had an amazingly hot dream about it. I woke up wet and aching, more than usual.

In the dream, he came over and I had dinner ready. We were going to eat, have some drinks to ease the awkward tension a bit. My roommate was there, both in moral support for me and so that there was a witness in case any claims of sexual harrassment came up.

Before we got to the piercing we all ended up on my bed. He was trying to convince my roommate to pierce her nipples. He was begging to see them, and she finally gave in. He was like a kid in a candy store, as I admit, she does have a nice pair of tits. He started feeling, pinching, and pulling.

They got undressed, and his 12 inch dick was extremely obvious. I was so glad it was not me that was going to be fucking him. (Yes, I know a 12 inch dick is a bit unrealistic, but my roommate have kind of an ongoing bet of what his cock it like).

She straddled herself into his lap, facing him. She started bouncing and riding. I reach over and pulled out my vibrator and just watched them, torn between wishing to get fucked and sad about not getting that kind of attention to being glad it wasn’t me having to take all that dick.

They keep going at it, but eventually she can’t stand his huge cock and has to climb off of him. He then stood up and jerked himself off onto both of our tits.

Feeling Left Out

Saturday we had a party. It was mostly a party in celebration of my roommate’s birthday last week. It was the usual affair; lots of alcohol, horny women, and hot guys who showed up later (though my roommate’s boyfriend and a coworker’s boyfriend were there from the beginning).

We had a barbecue, potato salad, corn on the cob, chips and dip, etc. Did I mention lots of alcohol? We all got shit faced. I stayed somewhat sober, surprisingly. My roommate got trashed. Once she was trashed, she brought out her tits. She flashed a friend and me in the kitchen, having her take a picture and send it to my supervisor. He showed up three hours later.

My supervisor is a pretty cool guy, though he has been known to be a total dick (as I have written about before). So he mostly came over to see a girl that used to work with us and hasn’t seen her since she left. He didn’t know it was my place he was coming to. He couldn’t stay long, as he had to get back home, but he did have a drink. My roommate, friend that he came to see, and I walked him out to his (sexy as fuck) pickup).

My supervisor and friend had a cigarette. Somehow the topic of boobs came up. My roommate admitted that they were her boobs he saw in the picture. He asked to see. She had no problem lifting her shirt and he copped a feel. He the reached with the other hand and groped our friend.

I was left untouched. I was a little bummed about this. Both girls then each grabbed a tit. I didn’t feel better. I wanted my supervisor to do it. Now, before you start thinking “He is your supervisor, of course he won’t touch you,” that is actually untrue. Remember my piercings I am getting back? He is the one that will be doing them.

The fact that he won’t touch me in play makes me a little nervous in how he will be able to do it when he pierces me. Yeah, I get that it is a completely different setting, but still, I was drunk and horny. Not to mention feeling a little left out. I think he should have at least got a peak to see what he would be working with.

Thanks

There has been a new guy in the office I have been helping out in. I added him to Facebook a while ago, but the other night I decided to finally message him, since we never get to talk at work. The conversation went ok, though he didn’t seem too interested.

I waited a few more days and sent him another message, this time in one of my “Fuck it all” moods. I asked if he liked coffee, and he responded with a yes with a huge grin. I took that as encouragement, so I asked him to coffee sometime after work.

He made me sit and wait for a response, then all I got was “Thanks.” What the fuck does that mean? I waited a bit more, contemplating what he meant, wondering if it was a “thanks, but no thanks,” when he responded again. He asked me why!

I was a little shocked, with a small hint of amusement mixed with frustration. I said to that we could get to know each other, as I thought he seemed really nice. He said I seemed really nice too, and thanked me again.

It was a little while later, then he sent me an emote of a coffee cup with a huge grin on its face. I took that as a shy and hesitant bit of encouragement, so I pressed further, saying that I took that as a yes.

An hour later he responded with “Thanks, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” I messaged back, saying “Ok, no problem.” Haven’t heard from him since. I get to see him tomorrow though, joy!

So I wonder, does he think its a bad idea because he is already taken, because we work together (sort of), or what? I have no fucking clue. I don’t really care to be honest, I kind of expect rejection, so it doesn’t hurt at all. In fact, it makes me even more determined to meet someone new. I will say, I have a new hate for “thanks.”

Tool

I have a tool of a supervisor. I have no idea what to do, as I am in between a rock and a hard place. Our department has no manager. This is the casino’s solution to saving money. We have a supervisor with no training, no tact, and can be very unprofessional. Sometimes I feel bad for the guy because he gets everything dumped on him with no idea what to to. Today however, I had no sympathy for the asshole.

He came in on his day off today, which was reason number one for him being in a bad mood. He asked me to do something, and I took a shortcut to get the information he wanted without leaving the office. Before I was even to tall him what he supposedly wanted to hear, he snapped at me to leave the office because he needed to “do something confidential.”

I left, pissed off. I had thirty minutes left in my shift, wanted to leave early all day, but no one would give permission, and he sends me out. Yet I wasn’t able to leave completely. I stormed out and went to the break room to cool off.

He has a bad problem of giggling when giving orders, making us not take him seriously when asked to do something. He then giggles when he is upset for said thing not being done. His delivery really sucks.

He has taken food without permission. In the break room he will help himself to food on the tables that is not his; a bite off this plate here, a bite off another one over there, etc. One day he even took my chips out of my bag in the office and ate the whole thing. He did the same thing with my cookies once.

One time he actually grabbed me. He handed me something to put in the office as he was leaving. As I was turning to put it in said office, he reached out and grabbed my arm so he could grab a piece off of whatever he handed me. It kind of hurt, but he was giggling.

His attitude sucks. He is trying to make everyone happy, but is making enemies instead by not handling the situation appropriately. A few problem coworkers have tried going to HR to throw him under the bus and failed miserably. I have considered HR myself, but I feel like if I bring up my problems with him I will get my own investigation.

I admit, I am not the most star employee. I have been on thin ice since being on light duty. I have no filter; I say “fuck” a lot and make inappropriate sexual innuendos all the time. I just don’t want things to bite me in the ass if I do complain to someone about this guy. I am just at a loss at what to do about this tool.

Slide

Walking around, I can feel my wetness. I am so wet that I can feel my lips slide against each other, heightening my senses.

I squeeze my upper thighs together, my clit being stimulated by the squeezing. I tighten my kegels, feeling my wetness soak my panties.

I only wish that I had my luna beads, or even my wireless bullet. Maybe another night, but for now this will have to do, as I walk around thinking of you.

Broken

A build up of events the last week and a half had left me feeling broken. Lack of sleep had helped put me in kind of a depression. I was unmotivated to do anything besides sleep and play video games. The only things that got me out of the house was work (because I have to paid time off accrued), hanging out with some friends from work, and grocery shopping.

First off the thing with D. He did apologize for being a dick. I told him it was ok, that I was used to people doing that to me. The thing that happened left me feeling so alone and inferior.

On Monday (9-10-12) someone at work tried to poison me. A coworker (not sure which one) sprayed Lysol in my soda in the Janitor office. The sad thing is is that at first I thought it was funny and wasn’t going to say anything to anyone. Hell, I even thought about drinking it, I felt so low. I said something about the Lysol in my drink on Twitter and was encouraged to say something. I finally told security, my manager, and HR. They are looking into it. However, the only thing they can do is do a camera review on who went in the room, but not what happened inside as there are no cameras. Also, things happened right at the shift change so everyone was going in and out of the room.

That same day my dad called me when I was on lunch. He told me he missed me and asked why I haven’t been up to see him. I reminded him that he had told me he didn’t want to see me until my hair grew back., He remembered, and proceeded to tell me that he didn’t want to see me, that I was an embarrassment to him for shaving my hair off. That hurt, a lot.

Another issue that I have been going through is my tonsils. They are huge and need to come out. They are blocking my airways, causing me sleep apnea (hence no sleep). They are also so big that soup is the only thing that I can swallow easily. I can rub them with my tongue they are so big. The funny thing is is that they don’t hurt. There is no infection, so I have no idea why I have kissing tonsils (yes, they touch each other they are that big).

Wednesday night my roommate said that the next morning they were probably going to induce her labor. She said she would text me when she was in the hospital so that I could be there. I never heard a word. Finally at around 6 my cousin called and said she had the baby. I didn’t hear from my roommate until midnight that night, saying she had the baby.

I am a little hurt by this. I understand that if she was in labor texting me would be the last thing on her mind. However, the baby’s dad had my number, and her mom could have gotten my number from someone. I feel like I wasn’t wanted there after all. I am trying like hell not to let it go to my head and make any rash decisions (like find somewhere else to live).

I have been feeling incredibly lonely. I tried to talk to one of my (used to be) best friends and just vent. I could tell she just ignored me by changing the subject every time I said something. She also agreed that I was an embarrassment with my short hair.

I miss so much having someone to talk to, someone to hug me, maybe kiss away my tears. All of the things mentioned above have left me incredibly broken. It has left me unmotivated to dao anything. Today is a new day though, a new work week. I am determined to make it the best. I have a new plan on how to manage blogging and video games between work. From now on when I wake up I plan on writing at least one post to publish. When I get off work I will play video games.

Easy to Read

I have always been a bad liar. I am even worse at hiding my emotions (situation pending). Lately this has become a problem, leading to some very awkward discussions and weired out coworkers.

My coworkers know how to push the right buttons to make me flustered. They know what embarrasses me, but most of the time they are just joking and I give myself away.

For example, a few weeks ago a coworker was feeling my head. A security guard jokingly said that touching me was a bad idea because he didn’t know where my head had been. It just so happened that my head had been in D’s crotch giving him head just a week earlier. My face turned beet red and I asked what he meant. He said I knew what he meant, that if I didn’t want people to know then I shouldn’t post it on the internet.

I gave him the dirtiest look, my mind reeling on whether or not he found my blog. He saw the look on my face and said he was kidding. I asked where he got that idea (that I post my stuff online) and he just laughed saying he made it up. I believe him mostly, but there is still a little part of me that wonders if he knows the truth, though I doubt he does. However, my reaction to his (very accurate) insinuations almost gave me away.

Another time, I had just stepped back out onto the casino floor from taking a break and two coworkers were there. I stopped and chatted. When I got to them, the male said to the female “Tashamber would come over and show your husband a good time.” The other attendant (female) just let her mouth drop in shock. I got a huge grin, about to ask if they were looking for a threesome. SO GLAD I DIDN’T!!!

Next thing I know, I am getting teased for “thinking about it,” and turning beet red. My grin gave my dirty side away. They then started to question it, and the male repeated himself to test my reaction. Unfortunately it was the same result, where I grinned and blushed. Security then walked up and asked what was going on because we were all cracking up by then (me for different reasons). The male coworker explained to security. Same reaction from me. Eventually they dropped it, as she walked away pretending to be creeped out and the other two left to go do something.

It’s funny sometimes how red I turn, or how much I grin at a dirty idea, but it is very risky because it could totally give me away someday if someone takes it a little too far.

Desperate

So, as I mentioned on a tweet or two, I got switched from graveyard shift to swing shift. Swing shift happens to be the same shift as Toby. If you are a new reader, Toby is the guy that took my virginity (when I was not ready) and put me on a huge emotional roller coaster before and after the incident.

I have been feeling a little sexually desperate lately. So desperate that I have considered contacting Toby about attempting to relieve some of that sexual tension. However, I always refrained because I just didn’t feel that desperate. My first night on his shift, after work, he contacted me.

We chatted on Facebook a bit, and the asshat started toying with me. I hate it when he toys with me, especially when I want to take control. We kind of made plans to hang out the next time my room mate isn’t home. In some ways I look forward to it, others not so much.

He is extremely fake, at least in my opinion. Several years ago, before everything happened with him, I had a crush on him. I didn’t know him that well. When I did finally “get to know him,” I didn’t like him much. He is pushy, but everyone at work thinks hes the coolest guy ever. I know better. He would text me, asking to hang out. I would say no several times, and he kept trying to bribe me/guilt trip me/anything to get in my pants (or mouth).

One thing that irritates the hell out of me,something that he does (as well as a couple others I know) is go off about how lonely he is, waiting for the right woman, hating being single, etc. Yet at the same time has some kind of excuse on why we can’t be together as a couple. I think its bullshit. If you aren’t interested in me as a girlfriend, stop beating around the bush and just tell me that you aren’t interested in that way!

After Will and I broke up, I added him to my Facebook friends. On his Facebook, he is always whining about not finding the right girl, being judged poorly, being lonely, etc. It is actually quite sickening. However, even last night when he toyed with me as much as before, I have decided to give him another chance. The plan is to watch a  movie, cuddle, kiss, probably sex.

While talking online, he started to hint on what he would do with me. I asked for details. He wanted pics. He decided to trade pics for details. I gave in, out of pure boredom. So, rather than letting him be the only one to see these, I will share them with my lovely readers. I would love your feedback!



Attention Whore

I have recently discovered that I am kind of an attention whore. I love attention. Recently the security guys at work discovered how jumpy I was, so now they take every opportunity to scare me. I enjoyed the attention a lot, and felt a little disappointed when they got bored and stopped scaring me because I was “too easy” to scare.

When I got my hair shaved off a few weeks ago, I got a lot of nicknames at work. Some were pretty fucked up, others amusing. That was more attention and I loved it. Yeah, I know that the fucked up nicknames were bad attention, but I didn’t let them get to me.

Last week, one of the security guys snuck up on me. My hand flew backwards and upwards, my finger landing in his nose. It was gross, the fact that I technically had just picked someones nose, but it was hilarious. I laughed and giggled for a good twenty minutes straight. My new nickname there because of that incident is “digger” and “gold digger.”

I feel kind of awkward admitting that I like attention like that. Like I am an attention whore. I can’t get enough of it. I have never really had a nickname growing up, so that is a plus. I guess I just feel like I shouldn’t like this kind of attention because it is rather negative at some points and I am sure that they are saying much worse things behind my back. My coworkers are just assholes like that.

Last night was a good example, and kind of the reason I am writing this post. I was on my lunch break in the break room when one of the security guys came up behind me and flicked my left shoulder blade as hard as he could. That attention I definitely did NOT enjoy. I said “Ow!” and he responded with “Oh, that didn’t hurt. Don’t say that so loud, I’ll have to fill out an incident report and you’ll have to take a piss test,” and walked out. He ended up leaving a bruise.

As I said, I did not enjoy that type of attention. I hate being hit and when I say “Ow!” the person doing the hitting says “Oh, that didn’t hurt.” That happened all the time to me in school groing up. Now it seems to happen at work. I had a coworker that did the same thing (punch me in the arm, slam my finger in the door) and say it didn’t hurt when sometimes I ended up in tears (the door).

A part of me really wants to take this matter to HR, but I don’t see it happening. I feel like it would be really hypocritical, being as how I don’t mind other smaller forms of harrassment. Or I prefer certain people to do things over others. I just don’t know…

An Attempt to Kill the Excessive Horniness

Last Wednesday, on my Friday, I was tired of the “Girl Boner” problem I was having. No amount of masturbation was helping. I was desperate, so I charged the batteries to my wireless bullet and put it in my panties, the remote in my pocket.

I had a grin on my face walking to work, feeling the buzz on my clit. The faster I walked, the closer to orgasm I felt.I never let myself get too close, as I didn’t feel quite ready to explain any sudden, strange looks on my face to my coworkers.

All night, I would play with the on and off switch of the remote. I noticed that I felt nothing while sitting, and felt the most when walking. The motions of walking made the bullet feel like it does when I have it in my hands on my clit in bed.

All night, I would gauge my arousal. I would guess how close I was to orgasm, using a scale of 1-10, 10 being orgasm. I figured I would let myself get up to 7 before turning the vibrator off. Oh, I sooo did not want to turn it off. I always felt a rush of excitement when i flipped the off switch on the remote and there was a pause in communication before the bullet turned off. Once the bullet turned off, the excitement turned into disappointment and I had to stop myself from turnning it back on.

Sadly, about halfway through the night, the bullet started to die. I don’t know if it was the bullet or the batteries, but the connection would seem to short out. It went from steady vibrations, to a broken vibration, like it was on a pulse setting. It started to be more of an irritation than anything, never getting my arousal.

I am happy to say though, the night was a success. The horniness went away. Well, at least the excessive horniness. I still really want to have sex, I still am constantly wetter than usual, but it is no longer painful. I can’t wait until my next lay, whenever that may be. I kind of gave up on D, as I haven’t heard from him in over a month. I am almost desperate enough to want to call Toby up…