Putting the Pieces Together

Well, Toby beat me to it, as in he texted me first. The day after I found out about  his supposed girlfriend, he texted me, asking how I was doing. I said I was good (a lie) and asked how he was, how the rest of his weekend was. He said he was tired, and stressed.

I asked why he was stressed, and he said that the other night shouldn’t have happened, that he wasn’t ready for that kind of thing like he thought, and was sorry and felt bad. I told him not to feel bad, that it was just a big misunderstanding on both of our ends.

He then told me that he understood if I never wanted to talk to him again or be friends. I told him that was silly, and of course I wanted to be friends. He said that friends was all we could be. I said that was fine, and he said ok, but had to go.

I haven’t heard from him since, even when I texted him a day later, asking how he was, what he was up to. Of course, if he has a girlfriend, it would all make sense. Him never finishing, worrying about being caught, not wanting to do anything like that again, and so on.

To be honest, I would feel a whole lot better about him finally texting me if he didn’t have a girlfriend. Or even if he did have one, I wish he would just get the balls and tell me straight up that what and why’s of everything. I just want him to tell me the truth.

Right now I am just numb. Every time I try to think about anything to do with Toby, my mind blocks it. I think everything would hurt a lot worse if the thing with James never happened. At least with James, we were close enough friends that nothing changed too much. With Toby, we didn’t know each other enough for it to matter either way it turned out.

I will keep you updated on the Toby drama, don’t worry.

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