I have been making a lot of changes in the past few weeks. Some of these changes are new, some are old.
First things first, I am rebuilding my life. When Will and I broke up, I felt like everything came crashing down. I am learning more about myself, as well as learning how to depend on myself. Before I always depended on others for everything, especially financially. I had never lived alone, and I felt like that was something I needed to do most, no matter how much it hurt financially.
Most times living alone is lonely, and I hated it at first, but now I am starting to appreciate it. I get the dishes done as soon as I use them, unlike when Will would just let them pile up without even being rinsed first. I am also liking that I can do what I want, when I want, and who I want. I can go out without having to tell anyone. I can have anyone over at anytime, talk on my phone any time.
I am also bringing this blog back. I am so glad that when I took all my old posts down I saved them onto google docs first, since I lost them off of my hard drive. I almost deleted them completely, since that’s what I believed Will did with his old chat logs. (Turns out he just saved them onto an old flash drive).
It was nice rereading my old posts as I posted them back onto my blog. It was nice watching myself learn and grow. The only thing I am sad about is that when I took things down, I lost the comments people had left me. I also lost my pictures I had at one point.
I am also getting my nipples re-pierced next week. I took them out for Will, since I knew he didn’t like them much. Since Will no longer has a say, I want them back. I liked how they made me feel, made my nipples feel. I like how they made me look.
I did not want to get them done alone, and it took forever to find someone to go with. All the people that wanted to go with me were either working when I made the appointment or were creepy. (Lol, one coworker said she wanted to go so she could “see my titties”). Ironically enough, Will is actually going with me.
He came over to get his mail the other morning, and out of habit I told him my plans. He seemed surprised, yet supportive. I took things a step further and reminded him that he said he wanted to go with me if I ever got them done again, even though we were together at that time. I asked if he was still interested or if that would be weird for him. He said he wanted to go. So yeah, hes going with me, and I believe we are going to dinner after. I am not sure how that will go, but we will see.
About a month after our break up, Toby contacted me. I was not completely over Will, so I decided to make him my rebound. The first time he got with me, I was not wet enough and he ended up tearing the opening to my vagina. The second time I let him do me anal, he refused to use lube and it hurt like hell. I will not be getting with him again. He disgusts me. I told him we could hang out and watch a movie, but that was it. He has made such plans with me, and stood me up both times. I am done with him.
On a brighter note, there is a different guy that I am doing. I will call him D. For now things with him are just casual sex, as well as a friend to talk to and hang out casually. I enjoy his company, as well as his sex. He makes me feel sexy, something I haven’t felt in a long time, even with Will. D is one of the few friends I still have from when I was going to the community college.