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One thing that drives me nuts is being distracted while masturbating. The thing that tends to happen the most is, while trying to think dirty thoughts, something very undirty pops into my mind. These things can include everyday life things, such as bills, and the biggest turn off of all, family.

The last few times I have masturbated I have gotten very distracted. I think this happens because I wasn’t much in the horny mindset in the first place, and was just doing it to sleep, or as recently, take my pain away from my nipples. I was trying my hardest to think dirty thoughts, but then the stress of moving came into mind, then family after that (as I will be closer to them), and it just went downhill from there.

I then tried turning to my backup dirty thoughts, the ones that are/were a sure-fire way to get me off. Thoughts about Will, and things about him/us that got me off. Sure, they worked, but they made me feel sad. You see, for the two years we were together, he was all I could think about while masturbating. Nothing else really turned me on. Since the break up, I have had to reprogram my turn-ons. I try and think of anything but him, however, the more I try not to think of him, the more I do.

Most of the time thinking about other things help. Sometiems I pop in a porn on my dvd player, but its just not the same to me anymore. Lately I have been thinking about when D and I get together, and how turned on he makes me once we decide to get down to business. I like having sex with D, and I look forward to more sex with him.

I always used to feel creepy thinking about people I know in real life while masturbating. It just didn’t feel right. However, once I became sexually active, that kind of changed. I think it changed when I started this blog, really. This blog has really helped to give me an outlet to discover myself. Now I can think about people in real life while I masturbate, and write about it. I can’t however, think about people I have never done anything with though. I still feel creepy. I also feel creepy if I think about them when we no longer do things. Will and Forbidden Fruit are a good example of that.

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