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What Could Have Been

The months of March and April were a huge roller coaster of emotions. It started off really well when I met a guy who I will call J. We had a lot in common (the way it normally starts) and planned to meet. Unfortunately he cancelled on me as I was getting in my car to go see him. It kind of worked out and I wasn’t too upset because my car didn’t start anyways.

I didn’t hear from him for two weeks. Just as I was about to give up I got an email from him saying that he was so sorry, his internets been out, and to text him. I was just happy to hear from him so I texted immediately. We chatted back and forth and planned to meet up the next week (after I got my car back). I wasn’t too nervous about meeting him until the day finally came around.

I showed up early so that I could order a drink and find a seat with a view of both doors. He walked in right on time and smiled shyly when he saw me and came to sit next to me. Talk was small and awkward. I seemed to be the only one asking the same questions that you always ask when there’s nothing else to talk about. Favorite color, food, birthdays, etc.

We finished our coffee within twenty minutes of meeting. We wanted to keep hanging out but weren’t sure what to do. That’s when he suggested pint and pizza night. I had never been, and wasn’t really interested in the beer or the sci-fi movie they play but I thought it would be a great icebreaker. We took our separate cars and met up at the show.

We got our food and found a seat in the back corner. The atmosphere was perfect. It wasn’t the type of theater that you have to be silent for, but talking was ok. We chatted a bit more here and there. Not long into the show he slipped his hand over mine and our fingers interlocked. From then on I was hooked. I eventually felt comfortable enough to kind of cuddle up to him.

Honestly, the food sucked, the movie sucked, and the chairs hurt my ass, but the hand holding and cuddles made it all worth it and then some. At the end he walked me to my car and we hugged goodbye. I was so excited to see where things would go. I felt something different with this guy. I had the butterflies in the stomach feeling that I hadn’t felt since Will.

I got home and waited online for J. When he finally logged in we chatted some more, talking about looking forward to the next time we hung out. He went to bed soon after though and I spent time thinking of things we could do. I finally narrowed it down to between a walk and or a movie.

The next time we talked however, he seemed a little odd, though I was blinded by my infatuation. He started talking about the things he wanted to do with me, sexual things, things I loved hearing though played it off as being too soon. That night at work he asked me what my turn one were. I was very vague. I wasn’t ready to tell him things I liked doing. He admitted to me that he had never received oral but loved giving it.

He was very frustrating when it came to making plans with him. He would take forever to respond to things that suggested us being in a public place. However, when I suggested making him dinner at my place he responded right away. I avoided giving him directions until the very last minute.

As I was putting dinner in e oven, he texted me saying he wasn’t coming, that he wasn’t ready for anything new in his life and he wasn’t coming over. I was angry and deleted him off my friends list. Two weeks later I got a message and new friend request from him saying how stupid he felt and how sorry he was.

Being the gullible woman that I am, I readied him and waited to see him online.he never did message me or come online. I deleted him again a few days later and haven’t heard from him since. Sadly, I still think about him and wonder what would have happened with the two of us.

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