The other day, one of my favorite bloggers posted on Twitter, asking about how men feel about giving cunnilingus, how they feel about women who are with men that don’t enjoy giving it, and the experiences of women who don’t enjoy receiving oral. I started to reply, but then realized that there is more to the answer than I can put in just 140 characters. I decided to make it a post.
First off, when I first started my sexual career, I was embarrassed about the idea of receiving oral. I was so worried about the smell and taste of my juices. It took a lot of coaxing from Ex #4 before I let him return the favor. It felt nice, but it really didn’t do much. The Ex loved it though, so I let him.
When Toby and I were messing around I asked him to give back once. He came up with a bullshit answer, saying that you should only do that if you are in love with a woman. I was hurt, but didn’t care too much, since it never did much anyways. I just wanted the favor returned.
Soon after stopping things with Toby, Will and I got together. He informed me that he just wasn’t into that kind of thing. It brought back memories of Toby telling me no and his reason why, and I associated Toby’s reason with Will’s. I was crushed.
Fast forward three years and you have the last boyfriend and I. He claimed that “eating pussy” was one of his most favorite things ever. He tried once, when I wasn’t quite ready (not shaved), found a hair and stopped completely. He hadn’t even really started. He said he would try another time when I was better groomed. I felt ashamed of myself, my body. A few weeks later and we decided to try again. I was fresh out of the shower (something I make sue to do before anyone goes down there), shaved, and ready to go.
Somehow he ended up getting into a very awkward position. His tongue had barely touched my slit when he pulled back and said that I tasted funny. My heart sank. My worst fear had just come true when it came to the bedroom. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and I slid a finger inside of me, letting my finger soak up my juices. I put my fingers to my mouth and prepared for the worst. I licked hesitantly. I tasted fine. Normal, in fact, kind of sweet. I was very upset.
When he came back, I told him that I tasted myself. He scrunched up his face in disgust and I said I tasted fine. He never tried to go down on me again, but I didn’t want him to. He did a number on me, this is one of them. I still feel extremely embarrassed of myself, very selfconscious. I haven’t had anyone try again since that unfortunate experience, but then again my partners have been limited. I find that ok with me, since it never really did anything more than just feel nice.