Slap in the Face

D was texting me the other night, saying that something interesting happened to him at work. He said it was a lot to text and would rather talk on Skype/phone or in person. A few days later he texted saying that really cute twins came into the store he worked at and flirted heavily. I rolled my eyes, thinking not much of it, though still a tad jealous.

Later tonight he called me and told me all about it. They came in for beer and started telling him how hot he was. Eventually one of them practically begging for a kiss. He gave in and she climbed over the counter, sat down and started making out with him.

Eventually they left and the one he kissed came back. They kissed more and after he closed up, she talked him into having sex in the store. He did. He sounded pretty excited about it, but the whole time he talked I started feeling shitty, more shitty as he mentioned each thing they did.

I told him I had no right to be jealous, I was glad he enjoyed the experience. He heard the cold tone in my voice and asked how I felt. I gave him pure honesty, telling him that it was pretty dumb, since he had no idea who she was, what she had, etc. getting a little paranoid, I asked what if she had mouth herpes, or warts that can spread even with a condom.

He said I had a good point, and if it would make me feel better, he would get tested. I reminded him that he’s told me that before (the reason I don’t give him oral anymore) and he said he would make an active effort to do so.

We talked a bit more, the whole time I felt resentful of the random chick he just met. First off, we have always joked about doing it in the store, but I have always been too chicken shit. It was still something I kind of had in mind for places to do it, just for fun. That appeal is pretty much gone, being as someone has beat me to it.

I also felt bad. He was excited and wanted to share it with me. I was far from excited. I hated being so monogamous at that moment. I hate that he’s the only one I have had sex with since J in October. He feels even more tainted than before.

I hate these conflicting feelings I have. I have no room to talk about sex with random strangers, since him and I got acquainted in the woods behind our college when I forgot his name, only knowing he was a friend of several friends. I also know that he is polyamorous, and though I hate sharing, it is just the way it is.

The whole thing just felt like a total slap in the face though, since he’s claimed to be sick since he got back from vacation. Him being sick has prevented me from getting laid (his excuse, though I am glad he kept the cold away from me). Yet he would fuck a total stranger when he’s sick? And she must be sick too, to fuck a random guy in a store, who knows what the fuck she has, if it’s more than mental disorders.