I have been missing J a lot. I miss being in his arms, and just the closeness and warmth he gave. I worry when I don’t hear from him, even though I expect not to hear a word. As I mentioned before, he has gone silent again.
I think of texting him, just to remind him that I exist. I don’t buy the story about him losing his phone. Even if he did lose it, he is sure to have one now. If he doesn’t respond to text, I would try to call him a few days later. I have considered driving to his house. If I was really ballsy I would knock on his front door for his parents to meet me.
He doesn’t have a Facebook. His siblings do. I have considered messaging them, seeing if they would respond, at least to tell me he is ok. Maybe they could even tell me what the fuck is really going on with him.
I shared these thoughts with my roommate and a few close friends. They think it sounds creepy, besides the fact that they are tired of hearing about him.
I also work at the same company of an old buddy of his. He is pleasant to work with for the most part, but you have to catch him on a good day. I consider bringing J up to him, see if he knows anything. J said they haven’t talked since the dude got a girlfriend, though. If that is true, and even if they were still close, I worry that it would make the work relationship even more awkward. Like I said, the guy is only friendly on a good day, which has seemed rare.
I don’t know, what do you think? Everyone says I should give it up, that I am leaning towards creepy by having these thoughts. I just want to know that he is ok, or if he really is done talking with me. I can take a hint, if he would tell me to back off I would. Damn it all to hell though.