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Day 11, Post 11

I am coming to realize that I don’t know how to relax. If I am not stressing about one thing, I am stressing about another. Mostly I have been stressing about work, but now I am really starting to stress about my lack of sex drive, which kills my drive even more.

For many months now (as in, I don’t know how long), I have had a constant knot in my back. That annoying feeling of having to pop my back, back just can’t stretch enough. I am so knotty, and not in the fun way. (Sorry, it was too easy not to make the joke). The knot is mostly from work. I feel like I have too much work on my plate, but I am afraid of throwing myself under the bus, or even making someone else’s workload double when my coworkers have much more to do than I do.

I miss my sex drive. I find it ironic that I always had a huge sex drive and always stuck in sexless relationships, and now that I am in a meaningful relationship with someone that has a high sex drive, I am the one with no sex drive. Hell, I don’t even get the urge to masturbate anymore.

I want to rediscover myself. I want to see what turns me on? What gets me going? The book I have been reading (for a review) has kind of gotten the wheels turning in my head about some things. I have so many questions, and I will find the answers as I read on.

Have you ever had a lull in your sex drive? Did anything in particular bring it back? Let me know in the comments, DM (Twitter/Zopim on the bottom right), or email.

Thank you for reading. – Sweets

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