Content Warning – Fatshaming, Doctor’s Office.
I really have only one major boundary, and that is to not talk about my weight or anything to do with weight. I am getting better about it, especially when I am the one to bring it up, but it is still a very sensitive topic for me. This post is about my struggles with doctors and the outside world.
Back in December, I set up a doctor’s appointment. There were several topics I wanted to discuss (getting prescription refills for my psoriasis and discussing my IUD and other birth control methods). It is usually an all day thing to visit the doctor, as even with an appointment the wait is insane.
I got to the appointment 15 minutes early (as requested) and was taken in fairly quickly. The medical assistant got my weight, took my temperature, and pointed me to the room I would see the doctor in. Inside she asked me the usual questions, got my blood pressure (after much difficulty because mine is hard to hear and the bands are usually too small for my arms.
Once the MA was done doing my intake, she told me the doctor had one patient before me and it shouldn’t be too long. I took out my ohone and did the usual scrolling, played a game, texted. When I looked at the time, it had been over an hour since the MA left. I got up and opened the door to remind them I was there. Twenty minutes later the same MA walked by and said “Oh, you’re still here?” “Yes, can you see what the hold up is? I have been in here over an hour with no doctor,” I stated calmly. Inside I was getting really pissed off. This is not the first time I have been forgotten.
The MA came back 5 minutes later and told me that there was an emergency that came in and the doctor was with them. When I asked why no one bothered to let me know the doctor would be later than planned, she did not have an answer. No one wants to tell someone that they were forgotten, again.
Ten minutes later, the doctor came storming in. “You’ve gained a lot of weight since I last saw you. I ordered blood tests to see if you are diabetic, I am going to refill your psoriasis medicine, but I am sending a referral for you to see the actual skin doctor. I don’t have time today, so you will have to reschedule if you need to talk about anything else. Any questions?” Unfortunately that was a direct quote from the doctor. She then started on my weight again, telling me that keto obviously wasn’t working for me and I need to look into something else. All I could say was that she was touching a very sensitive topic. “I know, I don’t care, you need to hear it,” was the response I got.
I left really pissed off. I have not made an appointment since, and am still using my IUD. I just don’t have it to go back there right now. Yes, I could ask for a different doctor, but everyone is booked up. Maybe by the time the IUD is at the 5 year mark (which is how long it is effective) I will have lost enough weight to deserve a proper visit. Or a different doctor will be available.
Fast forward to last week. Our office has been a skeleton crew because of the virus going around. No bosses, just 3 of us. One coworker put on music (appreciated) and said it was safe for work. I told her that there was really only one thing that would offend me, and that was fat jokes. I find it ironic after what happened later that day after work.
After work I walked to go check the mail (at the end of my clock) and I saw a neighbor and her kid. The kid waved and said “hi,” so I waved and said “hi” back. Out of nowhere the kid says “Wow! You’re fat!”
The best thing for me was to keep walking and not engage. As I walked away just shaking my head the mom said “Yeah, she’s crass.” That was all. No apologizing to me, having her kid say sorry, or telling her kid that that was not nice. I kept walking. For the rest of the night all I could hear was that kid saying that like a record on repeat. There were so many ways I could have reacted. I keep thinking I should have said this or said that. Really though, the best thing was to walk away.